Five Guys Burgers & Fries – 1715 Post Oak Boulevard,
Houston, Texas, USA

Established by a couple of guys (I can only assume it may have been….five?) in the Washington DC area in the 80s, Five Guys quickly grew in popularity, resulting in their eventual franchising in the early ‘thousands. In a mere 10 years, they’ve managed to franchise more than 900 locations. So you know homeboys have to be doing something right. As if they weren’t already popular enough, President Obama famously stopped in and bought his staff a round of burgers while the TV cameras were rolling, no doubt the presidential seal of approval has helped. Regular burgers at Five Guys are always doubles, so you need to make sure you order the “little” versions if you’re not feeling famished. I had the Bacon Cheeseburger with lettuce, pickles and mustard. Five Guys also don’t charge for additional toppings, so next time I may add the grilled onions

“This right here is In-N-Out’s strongest contender for “Multi-location Takeaway Burger Joint” glory. Yes, it’s ‘plasticised’ processed cheese, but it just melts so gloriously over the juicy beef patties. The bacon is always crisped perfectly, and the bun is perfectly sweet and soft, not interrupting the chi of the burger at all. Fries are served in cups – super crispy, but don’t make the mistake of choosing the Cajun seasoning – it’s too intense and it competes with the umami flavours of the burger. I would also like to award bonus points for their mobile app, I fully intend to order and run in to pick up my burger in my pyjamas one of these days…”

For even more awesomeness from BURGERMARY click here

T.G.I Friday’s Yokohama – Yokohama Ekimae Bldg. 1F, 1-1-13 Kitasaiwai, Nishi-ku, Yokohama, Japan (神奈川県横浜市西区北幸１丁目１−１３)

Wherever you visit T.G.I’s around the globe, whether its in Melbourne, Mumbai or Moscow, you know you’ll be getting a heluva generous meal. Since first opening in New York City in 1965, they’ve now expanded to over 700 restaurants in 54 countries and are ever growing – much like their regular’s waistlines. Two impressive feats inlcude serving over 19.8 million hamburgers worldwide and inventing the concept of “Happy Hour”. With all that in mind, after spending half the day checking out the city and then joining the Kirin Brewery tour, all that was fueling us for our fateful encounter with T.G.I’s Yokohama was no more than (FREE) beer and peanuts. As we stumbled out onto the street, drunk on hunger and amber liquid, all we knew was that we needed to eat – stat. A quick cab ride and we were staring at the famous red and white stripes of T.G.I’s ready to inhale anything on a plate. Best idea ever – the Ultimate Jack Daniel’s Burger – consisted of a hamburger bun with 2 beef patties glazed in Jack Daniel’s sauce, Monterey Jack cheese, bacon, red onion, lettuce, tomato, stacked onion rings and a side of fries with extra Jack Daniel’s sauce in case you feel like the burger’s million calories just aren’t enough.

“Wow. There’s nothing to say here but this monstrosity was a mission in itself. Because of the Jack Daniel’s sauce and onion rings it turned out to be a very, very sweet burger. Too sweet in fact for such a big burger. The whole thing became a huge mess really. I’m sure you could use a knife and fork to keep it together, but really… who uses a knife and fork!”

“I have never been so hungry in my life! After a full day of walking around (getting lost), not eating and drinking free beer, we naively thought that we would tackle the largest burger on TGI’s menu. I guess my stomach had shrunk in size as I really struggled to get through half of it! The beef was a little overcooked for my liking but the crunch of the onion rings contrasted well with the rest of the burger. Then the sweetness of what tasted like maple syrup covered bacon and Jack Daniel’s sauce caught up with me, and with a lot of reluctance I couldn’t finish the beast. I’d also like to note that drinking 3 litres of Pepsi (the novelty of free refills never wears off) didn’t benefit my chances of finishing this behemoth…”

“What were we thinking when we were ordering the most ridiculous, unnecessary burger on the menu? What was meant to be a nice dinner time filler, suddenly became an episode of Man V Food. The double pattie was a bit dry, but still tasty. I even added more Jack Daniel’s sauce which, as a consequence made the burger intensely sweet. Then add on top of that all of the maple syrup covered bacon – maybe I did go a bit overboard? The chips were good, but I didn’t get the chance to enjoy them due to the monster burger we ordered. Word of advice if you’re in Yokohama and you order this thing, “Be afraid”. Oh, and unlike B & D, yes I did eat all of the burger.”

“When this thing came out I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry or just walk out. This really was the biggest burger I’ve ever attempted to eat. It stood there smugly, all high and mighty and proud of itself, but that’s as far as it went. The beef and bacon were OK, but the overall taste was as if the Lollypop Gang and Oompa Loompa armies joined forces and were invading my tastebuds – diabetes much? I cleverly avoided liquids and picked strategically at the chips because there was no way I was letting this sucker take me down. At one point I lost the top bun somewhere and ended up having to grasp it all in both hands and mould it together as if it were a giant meatball. Did I succeed? You bet you’re ass I did, and I’ve never felt more ashamed.”

Prime Burger – 5 East 51st St, Midtown East, New York, NY, USA

Prime Burger was established in 1938, and judging by the decor they might’ve renovated it once, maybe sometime in the 50′s or 60′s and haven’t touched it since. The average age of the waiters would easily be about 50, all looking dapper in their white jackets and bow ties, which, considering nothing on the menu is over $10 shows the respect they have for their jobs. You have the option to either sit at the large laminated bar or the unique and original swinging desk seats – I opted for the seat and ordered the Cheeseburger. These guys serve a traditional sesame seed bun with only two extra ingredients: a chopped in-house beef pattie and oozing American cheese.

“This is without a doubt one of the best burger, no scrap that, dining experiences I’ve had in a long time. It was an instant transportation to a different era; a much simpler time of the traditional American diner, smack bang in the middle of Midtown Manhattan of all places. The decor hasnt changed in decades and i think that applies to the waiters aswell. I love a place that has career waiters who have spent decades in the restaurant, taking real pride in what they serve and the service they provide. Now the burger was not much to look at it; it was just cheese, beef and a bun! So to say, “I was amazingly surprised at how much flavour it packed”, is an understatement. The beef, chopped in-house, was cooked a consistant medium-rare, and was fantastic. The classic American cheese left me wanting to order another 5, and the lightly steamed bun made it one of the softest and tastiest burgers I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating.”

“This burger from the outside looked like any other regular burger, and when I ate each ingredient individually nothing stood out. The bacon alone was actually quite horrible – very rubbery and over cooked – however once you take a big bite out of this burger it is absolutely amazing! Everything just worked perfectly together and I can’t explain why, it just does. The chefs who obviously know what they are doing have made it look simple and easy. This was definitely unexpected from a venue filled to the brim with people with tattoos, beards, black rimmed glasses and most conversations starting with “what colour is your fixie?”. Saying all that, I would love to visit again the next time I venture to the other side of the river.”

“There’s something about re-inventing a classic that has a certain romance about it for me. Like taking a Victorian pub with its barn/church like interior and making it hospitable and comfortable to the hipsters (general public), of the Northern Suburbs and letting the beer run, run and run. Add on top an adopted American style cuisine with buffalo wings, chilli dogs and most importantly the Smoked Cheese & Bacon Burger and you have a hit. The burger itself was great: the pattie had a certain rustic element to it, the traditional bun was just that, traditional. The bacon was a bit tough to eat, but still good. The 1000 Island sauce was ok, but I still felt it needed that saltiness that a ketchup or mustard could only provide. The burger was hard to manage with all that sauce on it, but enjoyable nevertheless. Chips were a big standout, fluffy on the inside and super crunchy on the outside with great seasoning.”

“When I saw this my taste buds lept. When a burger comes out in basket you know someone that knows a thing or two about diner culture has had some input with this. I went to pick up the burger and it was piping hot. Whether because it had just been steamed or from resting on its hot bed of wicked chips, I dont know. Either way, when I got stuck into it I was instantly greeted by some delicious beefy flavours that left a nice coating of fat dancing around my mouth. The bacon was ok, but a little too tough and at one point even interrupted my meal. The smokey cheese was splendid and together with the 1000 Island sauce excelled at filling me with delight. I finished it all off by sitting back, munched on my pickle and casually punched a hipster in his bearded face.”

“First off, they unfortunately broke one of the cardinal sins in making a burger, not melting the cheese on the pattie. Then to rub salt into the wounds, I saw another patrons burger come out 15 minutes later with the cheese perfectly melted and oozing onto the plate. That aside the beef was cooked really well, with the right amount of juice that (combined with the mayo) created a delicious compliment. It was a shame about the cheese as this burger has the potential to be the best on or around Chapel St. I never have been nor will I ever be, a fan of fancy big cuts of chips, they’re just not fluffy on the inside when they are that big!”

“This burger had no real standouts, however still delivered a good feed. The bun was fluffy, sweet and soft, but did brake one of the most epic burger rules – “thou shall not use bun with larger radius than pattie”. That aside the pattie was seasoned well and cooked to a good standard. The mayo and cheese worked well, with the cheese adding a nice saltiness helping it to stand out. For once there wasn’t a whole lot of greenery, which is good. The fat chips were cooked alright, but I’m still not convinced I like them. Helpful tip I picked up from D – cut fat chips longways, that way it cools quicker and are easier to eat.”

“Such a real shame that this thing came out with un-melted cheese. Not only would’ve that help melt my heart, but there would have been some “tight pants” in the house. My bun was spot on; it was glazed well and even though there was a little too much of it, I wasn’t left with a whole lot of it on my plate once I’d gotten through the pattie. Speaking of which, was nicely pink in the centre, quite tasty and had a significant amount of “rissole-ness” to it. The cheese tasted a lot like an aged cheddar and really was excellent. It had a sharp, distinct flavour that isn’t the norm for a burger in these parts of Chapel St. I did enjoy this but screw you guys for giving us some serious food envy with everyone else’s burger looking a billion times more awesome.”

“An immediate but really nice kick of spice to this burger, with a chilli paste on the top bun and then with some mixed through the beef. But to me this is where the creativity and uniqueness ends: it had the same brioche bun that many kitchens are using at the moment, it had good size beef pattie but it was cooked a little too long and the lettuce and tomato eventually turned to mush resulting in a loss of flavour drowning out the spiciness. Being served in a saucepan (not a warm one or anything) instead of a plate is a bit of a wank to me, and I dont think it justifies the price tag as it doest compete with similar priced burgers in the immediate vicinity.”

“A simple burger that in my opinion works well as an inner-city lunch time burger. It had a well flavoured wagyu pattie made up of a good blend of high-quality meat and spices. The brioche bun delivered that beloved sweetness that I love. The relish was well balanced with sweet and spice combined with the barbeque sauce to add some smokiness to each bite. Not too much green worked for me; just a simple leaf and a thin slice of tomato that didn’t effect my meal at all. Chips were good, but did need some salt.”

“At first I thought it was a crazy case of deja vu. “Didn’t we already eat this at Newmarket Hotel?”, I kept thinking as I was shooting the familiar looking burger. Putting that aside I delved in and discovered that this leans to the class of a “Burger Remix” – a modern take on a classic burger. And it wasn’t an abrupt remix that created substantial waves in its burger soul. The chopped wagyu pattie was peppery, hinted at chorizo and was pretty darn good. My bun did a “C+” job of keeping things together though, because by the end of the meal I was left with a bunch of it sitting on my plate. Overall it was good, but I’ve got this incredible gripe with the guys for not going out on a limb and creating a burger thats more unique to Caboose Canteen. Newmarket virtually already do the same burger and honestly, on the occasions we’ve visited, its been a juicier, more tender and more fitting burger. They are, for one, a So-Cal Mexican restaurant, so it makes perfect sense for them to serve such a burger. Don’t get me wrong, the burger was good, but for Caboose to use it perplexed me a bit. I’d say go back to the drawing board, look at what your brand represents and create something for yourselves. Chances are it could be awesome.”

Glass Brasserie – 488 George St, Sydney, NSW, Australia

Whether you’re a tourist, a hungry CBD 9-5er or a champion burger aficionado, one of your top-of-mind lunch time destinations in Sydney is going to be the renowned Glass Brasserie. We’re familiar with Chef Luke Mangan’s work at South Melbourne’s Palace and when planning a visit to Glass Brasserie, Z was expecting nothing but greatness. Before we go on, we must mention that the burger is available only at the Glass Wine Bar menu, which is still just as fancy and will have you looking around in awe. The team have spared no expense, inviting New York designer Tony Chi to work his magic; using ultra high ceilings, earthy tones and with glass and mirrors all around you, you’ll feel like you’re dining in some sort of Swiss aristocrat’s holiday house in the Alps (true story). Luke Mangan’s right hand man, Executive Chef and burger lover is Joe Pavlovich: in a recent interview he commented, “When you eat a good burger, news travels fast. We’ve never really had a good burger culture in Australia and now we’re starting to.” With that said we had to send Z up there to see whether Glass Brasserie and Joe Pavlovich could truly walk the walk. Z sat down at the Glass Wine Bar and ordered the Wagyu Beef Burger Lunch Special that included a 50/50 brioche and burger bun filled with ox-heart tomatoes, house-made barbecue sauce and mayo, Raclette cheese, onions cooked in beer and Rangers Valley beef mixed with dry-aged beef fat, a pickle and fries on the side, plus a cool beer to wash it all down.

“As soon as I saw this thing waltzing it’s way over to my table I thought, “touché Mr Pavlovich, touché.” Wow did this burger look impressive. A waterfall of cheese like this arouses me in so many ways its almost unfathomable. After my Penthouse shoot was over I sunk my teeth in and was greeted with warm, soft and delicious beef. The Raclette cheese took me back to my time in France where the locals practically brush their teeth with the stuff – devine. Displaying poise and grace, the bun never took over and let the beef and cheese do all the talking. Every now and then however, the BBQ sauce would stand up and interrupt this tasty dance with obnoxious line dancing that didn’t belong in such a burger. Whether I was delirious from all the cheese I don’t know, but I could swear there were hints of apple coming from the bacon, which wasn’t bad, but did enough to distract me. Now, because every Sydney burger for me has become a “Could this be better than Lotus” burger (one can only dream), I couldn’t help but pick at the back chat that I was being given by the good but not great bbq sauce and bacon. All together this burger was still pretty damn wicked and deserves a whole lot of respect and admiration. To serve this kind of calibre burger + chips + beer, for $20, is incredible! Every pub/restaurant/bar should definitely take note. As of this moment, if you’re hunting down burgers in Sydney check out Glass Brasserie for lunch and then hit up Dan Hong at Lotus for dinner. You won’t be disappointed.”