We know what you’re thinking… “Hold on… They’re some awfully feminine hands, lips and hair in that photo. Is your new contributor a girl?”. OMG our newest addition is a chick! Seriously though, it takes a little bit more than luck to find yourself writing amidst the pages of tBA. Bribery and “mad-skillz” are a part of it, however it’s what you live and breathe that really counts. We had the chance to electronically encounter BM around 6 months ago whilst checking our mail. Since then we’ve found out that she’ll answer only to “Ma’am” and is nothing but trouble. After several eating/drinking sessions together she’s proven to us that not only can she talk the talk, but she can walk into a nightclub/stripclub without appearing too messed up, even after 10 beers.

So, when she’s not eating burgers, she’ll be eating chicken fried steak, fried chicken or BBQ. That’s where her own blog (under the same guise) all began. “It started thanks to a huge collection of food photographs, mainly from Austin, Texas, that I felt needed to be shared with the world. I spent at least two months out of every year in the States, mainly in the South, on a whimsical culinary journey. Essentially, I’m an honorary Texan. Australian by birth, Southern by the grace of capacity to eat.” To step even harder on a hippies head she adds, “sometimes I even forget what vegetables look like, especially when they’re not coated in breadcrumbs and deep-fried.”

Well, to avoid the awkwardness of a proposal, we thought we might as well ask the kind lady to write about her very own Adventures. Fresh off the Learjet she’s back home in Melbourne ready to unleash a feast of mouthwatering burger fueled stories from all around America (Fuck yeah!). Keep your eye out for her burgasmic posts in the coming weeks. In the meantime you can check out her kick-ass blog BurgerMary and feel free to yell at her on Twitter here.

Much love

B•D•G•Z (+ bm)

“The appearance of this burger is very deceptive. As it arrived at our table it just looked like your stock standard take on the traditional burger, with a sesame seed bun, pattie, lettuce, bacon and cheese all visible to the eye. It’s only when you bite into the burger that it really comes to life; hiding under the sumptuous piece of beef are some fiery jalepenos that give a great kick once bitten but don’t linger around too much longer. Then to keep the surprises coming you are hit by the very sweet chutney with raisins that’s spread on top of the pattie. I probably would have preferred this burger just as a pure spicy burger rather than adding the contrasting sweetness of the relish. A simple dollop of ketchup would’ve done me just fine.”

“What impressed me most about this burger was the casualness of it. No it didn’t dress in baggy jeans and call me “dude”, it was just the manner in which it was presented and served on a plate – zero pretentiousness. And, for a burger served on Chapel St (aka wank central) that is saying a lot. It was a good thick pattie, the jalapeno chillies in the burger were great and the chutney worked well in balancing out the flavours. I’m normally not that crazy about raisins in my food, but they did work well in the chutney. Nice thinly cut red onion with well-prepared bacon was another plus with just the right amount of rocket leaves. I personally did have to add some ketchup to it all and yes, the fries were good.”

“I was about to pull out the iPhone and take a hipstamatic shot of the burger, until D slapped me in the face, reminded me that I use a Blackberry and we were here for business. This burger was, in one word, “good”. The chefs have kept everything relatively simple. I always enjoy a good ol’ kaiser bun and the addition of jalapenos are always welcome. The lightly seasoned ground beef patty was on the money; even with it’s coarse texture it was still very light, almost on the delicate side. Where it lost out with me was the raisin filled chutney. It was almost like too many pussies complained that it was too spicy for them and they needed to add something extra to calm down their oh-so-mortified tastebuds. Or who knows, maybe its just more added wank factor that we see more often than not. Don’t get me wrong, the chutney (as a chutney on its own) was fine. But next thing you know they’ll be adding quince paste to burgers.”

“If in 63 minutes you think you’re going to be hungry, I would recommend ordering now. Otherwise prepare to starve for 63 minutes! Now onto the burger.. the first bite was overpowering due to the really strong mayo and sour pickle. So I tried a different strategy: I scraped off as much of the way too strong and inconvenient mayo and added ketchup. I love the site of two beef patties but I would have preferred the same amount of meat, just in a single, more juicy pattie as opposed to two drier, thinner and charred ones. I love the idea and theme behind the bar but I know that the yanks wouldn’t be happy waiting that long, and probably would have glassed a few hipsters at the bar in frustration.”

“When seeing the waiter bringing you this burger from afar you can tell this burger will not require any dessert after inhaling it. It is a great looking burger with some great features: double beef patties, brioche bun and oozing cheese – loved them all. What I think let it down a little was the mayo, it was good, but you can have too much of a good thing sometimes and in this instance there was way too much of it. In my eyes the Kodiak was operating as a bar first and as a restaurant second. What I mean is, the burger took almost an hour to come out and the music was loud, I mean LOUD. I like the theme music to Top Gun too, but that volume was uncalled for if you are trying have people eat. I would like to go back again though, it is the right environment for a burger and beers. Onion rings were great.”

“Ok, so it was good, but I think they tried too hard. I understand that the mayo made the burger different and unique to their famed Bourbon bar but I would’ve honestly preferred it to have been be a more traditional mayonaisse. If I’d been partying with bourbon all night, the last thing I would want to taste for my hangover cure is more Bourbon. I dont think that the the Woodford Mayo had been reduced enough. I was a big fan of the brioche bun, creamy cheese, and the subtle point of difference using the double patties. I would be adding bacon to this burger next time I go so it packs a little more saltiness though. So no serious crimes committed on this one; the wait time was shit and the mayo wasn’t excellent (points for effort though), but that’d be an easy fix which will have me coming back… maybe for some Bacon Bourbon and Buffalo Wings.”