If you’re reading this thinking California’s famous Father’s Office has opened up a faction in Australia, think again. Call it clever marketing or flattering imitation, it got us curious enough to check it out. Up some dark stairs along Little Lonsdale St and you’ll find yourself in a large bar draped head-to-toe in wood and 1920′s inspired paraphernalia. Serial entrepreneurs Stewart Koziora and Anna Carosa took over for Match Bar in 2012 and went on to create a space that caters to all walks of life. Whether it’s after work drinks, weekend comfort food or functions they’ve got it covered. On a weekend a decent drinks menu will keep you liquored up until 3am or if you’re more the civilised type and food is your vice then there’s plenty to choose from. An extensive Americana inspired menu will have you “Ooing and Ahhing” over Kansas City Baby Back Ribs, Philly Steak Sandwiches and Warm Apple, Pear & Blueberry Pie. We couldn’t look past the Man Burger though. It came with a brioche bun smothered in Dijon mustard, topped with a 200gm grass fed Queensland yearling MSA certified black angus pattie, 2 pieces of Swiss cheese, a layer of beer battered fries, 2 more pieces of Swiss cheese, a fried egg, a full rasher of bacon and chipotle mayo.

“It would’nt suprise me if whoever thought up of this burger was drunk, or if a large percentage of customers who consume this burger are also drunk. I’m sure it felt like a good idea at the time but its complete overkill and unnecessary. It’s a shame as each individual flavour was nice, but you don’t need 4 slices of cheese, aswell as a creamy gooey egg, aswell as mayo and mustard, aswell as a layer of chips to overpower and kill any flavour from the beef or bacon. So unless you have masculinity issues, are extremeley drunk or like feeling sick after a meal, I’d go ahead and order something else from the menu.”

“I’d read about this burger and had been a little bit impressed. I mean 4 slices of Swiss Cheese! That’s a party. I was pretty blown away when it came out. It was oozing with cheese as expected and I started to dread the extra KMs I’d have to run to burn this sucker off. Biting in was a bit of a challenge, purely because it was so dense. But immediatley all that mustard hit me. It was good! But that was only my first bite. After a while the burger became a bit of a chore and a boring one at that. I’ll give it points for consistency but all the flavours stayed on the same side of the spectrum. What this burger was missing was sweetness to cut through the heaviness. I’d replace the chips with either onion rings or caramelised onions. Screw it, just ketchup would have done fine. The menu says the beef is decent quality, but it didn’t hit me with too much flavour. On that day I didn’t have the stomach to finish this thing. But I still stick by Yokohama accomplishment if you want to challenge my eating prowess.”

One moment you’re standing around looking for some signage, double checking your Google maps, the next you’re three flights of stairs underground and standing in a dim lit, classy looking restaurant. Unless they had X-Ray vision, the average Joe Citizen wouldn’t really know that below 195 Little Collins St lies a produce driven, innovative grill house. The culinary cool cats behind Little Hunter are also responsible for the the likes of Señoritas and The Meatball & Wine Bar. But, the real draw card here is that they’ve brought in US native, Gavin Baker. Not only has he won several “Best Restaurant” awards, Baker’s held the coveted job of Sous Chef at The Fat Duck, in London. Little Hunter’s menu speaks for itself – its grill house classics but with a little bit extra attention to detail and, a little bit of cool thrown in on the side.
So cool in fact, you won’t even find the burger on the menu! Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, we go ahead and order the secret “Speakeasy Burger” that was delivered to us on a soft bun with a beef pattie, tomato, lettuce, onion and pickles.

“I love the concept of having a simple burger available only to those in-the-know. For a burger that only had beef, lettuce, tomato, onion and a pickle there was so much flavour! The classics work. If I had to recommend any tweaks to the burger I would maybe cut down a little bit on the lettuce as I did think they were a little too generous with it. I would also recommend some ketchup that might be able to compliment the char flavour of the pattie. I found my pattie a little dry so it could’ve helped with that too. The chips were great and I loved fry sauce on the side.”

“This has to be one of my most memorable Burger Adventures. It’s not often you get to go to a hidden restaurant and order a secret burger. You could look at it as a gimmick but, I like it. It’s going to work and it’ll have people coming in for the same reason people go to to hidden bars and why people get put onto guest lists – check out my cool, ipso facto, facebook check in. Anyhow, it got us there and chances are you’ll be there soon too. Why? Well, my burger was oh so simple (and surprisingly cheap). It’s all about the meat here! The beef was top notch – everything from its char flavour, size and texture. Even amid some ridiculously fresh tomato, lettuce and onion (that seemed like they’d been picked from the farm that morning), the pattie still stole the show. An all around great experience here. Well done to Little Hunter for adding a little extra chic to the art of beef and bun.”

Brought to you by Daragh Kan and Myles Munro, their mission statement goes something like “Mr Burger sells burgers. From a truck in Melbourne.” – pretty much self explanatory. Since attending the South by Southwest music festival in Austin, Texas, earlier this year, the guys saw an opportunity to bring the Food Truck revolution to the whole of Melbourne. They’ve setup a semi-permanent location at 93 Therry St, opposite the Queen Victoria Market, but your best best is to check their daily updates on facebook or twitter to find out exactly where you can get a mouthful in our beautiful city. Like their motto, they’ve kept the menu simple; with 2 burgers on offer and fries as an option for a side. We went for their signature Mr Burger which consists of local beef, American cheese, lettuce, onion, pickle, mustard, mayonnaise and tomato sauce.

“The older I get, the more I seem to be appreciating the simpler things in life. For example, the moment melted cheese hits the hot plate and solidifies, leaving a crispy ring of burnt cheese around a pattie is one of the greatest tastes ever and provides me with immense pleasure. So I was off to a good start, and apart from having to remove the thick spine of the lettuce leaves, it only got better. The bun did its job and the 3 sauces along with the cheese ensured every bite was packed full of flavour and kept the beef extremely juicy. The only way i could think of improving this burger would be by making it a double, but this is me just being greedy.”

“That’s right Melbourne it’s another food truck. And just like Melbourne’s beloved Beat Box Truck this truck is banging out burgers that will give any “place with a front door” a run for their money. Made with heaps of attitude and love for two buns and a piece of meat these gents have researched what it takes to make an epic burger. Packed with heaps of sweet juice and flavour I instantly fell in love with the beef pattie. The oozing American cheese blended with the mayo and mustard was a real killer combo. For a street burger this thing held it’s own and never became a mess, but you wouldn’t know that if you saw our boy D trying to eat this. Chips were good, but could have done without the herb seasoning.”

“Such a terrific example of an all-star American burger. The boys have done a seriously good job in bringing all they learnt from the U.S and packed it between two buns. You’ll know it as soon it’s in your hands, but this burger is so soft and invites you to smash it it as quickly as you can. All of the condiments played a stellar role in supporting the juicily pink beef pattie and it was hard to find any chinks in the burger’s armour. The great thing is that they cater for real burger fans – because sometimes you want a burger to be fresher, on the lighter side (I could’ve eaten two of these), and there are other times you want walk away with a serious meat fix. That’s why it was good to see they’ve got a Mr Meat Burger that has added bacon and all the tasty things that’ll have me back there in no time. Hats off to the lads again and with more and more Melbournians singing their praise I’m sure it won’t be long until they’re changing their name to Sir Burger.”

It’s fair to say that when a place takes on a name like “Gramercy Bistro” you’re more than likely to think of all that is cool about Manhattan. Go on and add one of Melbourne’s trendiest hotels in the Cullen (a part of the Art Series Hotels) and big expectations loom. Paying homage to some of NYC’s greatest hotels, owner Adam Faigan and Head Chef Rodd Blutman and his team have put together a menu that injects a little bit of Melbourne into many go-to New York dishes like Reuben sandwiches, Steak frites, Buttermilk Pancakes of course, the humble hamburger. Catering for every kind of diner also extends to the layout: a casual deli/cafe approach towards the front, cocktails and cigars in the inside-outside area, or the relaxed, but a touch more formal, dining space near the back of the restaurant. On a sun filled Sunday we sat smack-bang in the middle and ordered their signature Gramercy Burger that comes with a Brioche bun, Wagyu beef pattie, bacon, onions, pickles, melted cheddar, tomato, relish, mustard and a side of shoestring fries.

“Some really nice presentation here with crispy salty fries served in an unpretentious cardboard box and the burger topped with a pickle. The highlight for me was the perfectly melted, super smooth, creamy and gooey cheddar cheese that ultimately enveloped the beef and married the bacon. The bun was super soft and sweet, which worked really well with the creaminess of the cheese and the contrasting tang of the mustard. The beef pattie was the right size and cooked just right, however it lacked a whole lot of flavour. I would of loved the bacon to be a bit crispier to add a bit of crunch to a burger that overall lacked a variety of texture.”

“We’re not off to a good start when I say the standouts in this burger were the bun, bacon and cheese. The pattie was a bit bland but, supported by all these awesome tasting side ingredients, as well as the tangyness of the mustard, really made up for it. Due to the pattie tasting a bit processed and run of the mill, more sauce had to be added. The fries weren’t great and to add insult to injury my Coke was a bit flat. However bonus points for the lime wedge.”

“Mouth agape I thought, “Wow, what a work of art – a sexy, classy work of art.” But then I caught eye of the weird multicoloured beef. I thought the worst, expecting a multitude of unnecessary herbs and spices to choke the beef’s potential. To my surprise, when I bit in a wave of enjoyment ran up and down my tastebud valleys. The highlight ingredients for me were the cheese, the bacon and maybe even the pattie. The not too overpowering mustard was masterfully added but the relish was a smidge too jammy and sugary. It was actually good! But then like most relationships, it kind of got boring. Not to say that this is a bad burger at all. But it didnt leave me wanting more, not out of hunger, but pure allure.”

Bright like Broadway, the warm glow of the words “DINER” are a homing beacon for all those looking to get their fix of laid back, NYC inspired dining; the classic sort of course. With Head Chef Catriona Freeman fresh from a stint at Heath Ledger’s Five Leaves, it makes plenty of sense to bring back some of the tastes of Brooklyn to Fitzroy. Situate yourself at either the sleek stainless-steel counter or at one of the vintage timber booths, you’ll always have something to entertain you. From peering into the kitchen for some behind the scenes drama, trying to decipher the cool-cats tatoos sitting opposite you, or just watching as the day rolls past through their huge glass windows, you’ll hardly notice time tick past on their übercool clock/wall/wall-clock. Without much hesitation we ordered their Dinerr Burger (not a typo) that came with a Wagyu beef pattie, brioche bun, caramelised onion, Tasty Cheese, tomato, lettuce, pickles, mayo and a side of seasoned fries.

“First off, this is a seriously cool venue with really friendly staff and, if I lived locally, would love to call it my local. Everything in this burger was in perfect proportion with a really thick and juicy beef pattie. The condiments can often get lost in a burger, however the large cut tomato and pickles added a really good crunch. The cheese and sauce together created a creamy flavour that worked well with the sweet and sugary bun. Not the biggest burger, but with an ample amount of fries it wont leave you hungry.”

“A slick diner feel with just the right amount of mood lighting 4 guys can handle on a burger escapade. The burger was on the small side, but still filling nevertheless. The brioche bun was typically sweet, so memorably soft and delicate, worked really well with the delicious, juicy pattie. The humble pickle is always a welcome addition on my plate so, along with a small amount of lettuce and tomato they worked a treat. The mayo in the burger was good and the seasoning on the chips was great!”

“As usual, when taking photos I’ll steal a chip to shut my hunger up for even a few seconds. But I couldn’t stop at just one. It was like someone took a steak and somehow grated it over the chips. So eventually I bit in and the cheese was first of many burger tastes to flirt with my taste buds. It wore a tuxedo and introduced itself with a suaveness normally reserved for secret agents. The pattie crumbled with each bite, had onions throughout and was peppery and beefy. It maybe could’ve been a little more pink, but that’s me being a schtickler. Their pickles were also a highlight. They played their supportive role well, distinct but not too “acidy”. Balance played a big role in this entire meal for me: from all of the burgers ingredients, to the accompanying fries, to the retro decor and charming staff. Everything was superb.”

Apart from a few unmentionables, there aren’t many combos better than “Burgers & Beer”. If you’re walking down Exhibition St your gaze might just be distracted with this very scribble. You see, like everything Melbourne these days, the cool cats behind this magnificent offering ask you to go down a laneway and then head down some stairs. You’ll pass the neon Strange Wolf sign and walk into a world of pot plants, concrete pillars, a weird sort-of alcove where dining occurs and of course, the bar. The guys at Strange Wolf have kept their menus pretty simple – in a great way. Offering a bunch of burgers and a decent drinks list that’s not “scary complicated” keeps things moving and really embodies “quality over quantity”. We sidled up to the bar and ordered ourselves their signature Wolf Burger that comes with grilled beef, caramelized onion, pickles, melted mozzarella, roma tomato and iceberg lettuce. On the side they dish up a fun-sized cone of fries and a shot-glass full of ketchup.

“The best way to describe this burger is to compare it to a Whopper made with love, care and attention. The beef was cooked with just enough char on the outside but still retained a lot of its juiciness and flavour. It had a really rustic, smashed up texture to it allowing the cheese to melt into every little crevice perfectly. Luckily the gigantic slices of pickle were quite mild as anything stronger would of been way too over powering. Now I’ve been known to be quite fond of a nightclub or two an,d am obviously very fond of burgers. However, I dont like the idea of the two of them combined. With this place being underground, very dark, with techno music playing at 7pm – it just reminded me of 3am. I know I’m weird but if I’m drinking I dont want to eat and if I’m eating I dont want to drink.”

“A simple burger, full of attitude for a great price of $12 and “yes”, it also comes with a teasing amount of chips that will leave you wanting more of everything. The pattie was cooked to perfection and full of flavour. The crispy sharpness of the the pickle made it the perfect wingman to this pattie. There was a light dressing flavour in the background but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. But whatever it was it stayed at back of the palette and made me love each bite. Served in a paper funnel, the crispy chips were great.”

“Usually when a burger is hyped up, I’m suspiscious straight away. I know people might recommend it and might say it’s awesome, but at 3am a double Quarter Pounders from Maccas are pretty damn awesome. But then I heard an American accent wafting over the sound of the grill and I felt a little more assured we might be getting something decent. Then unfortunately, it came out looking a bit average. I almost begrudgingly took the shots whilst the guys ate in silence. But then once I bit in I rejoiced and realised why the others weren’t talking. This meat was devine – grilled beautifully with hints of smokiness, a touch of char and a nice amount of fattiness. The rest of the burger did its job and let the meat remain the hero. The chips weren’t in abundance but for 12 bucks I can forgive them. I really enjoyed this one.”

There might just be a new shiny jewel in Melbourne’s “Crown”. American born Chefs Sam DeMarco (D Man) and Grant MacPherson (G Mac) recently opened the doors of their newest casual dining gastro-pub, “The Merrywell”. Cross diner, cross pub they’re offering some good ol’ fashioned pub favourites plus some re-invented classics. Upstairs you’ll find their swanky restaurant, but downstairs at the burger bar is where the real magic happens. Four meaty burgers occupy the menu along with some wicked sounding sandwiches and sides that you’d probably consider just devouring as one mean main. We approached the counter and ordered their signature Merrywell Burger that came with a soft bun, beef pattie, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, tomato, special sauce, bacon and a side of fries.

“This to me, is the absolute definition of a burger: a huge chunk of beef perfectly charred on the outside and perfectly pink on the inside just oozing fat, juice and most importantly flavour. Add to that a generous amount of melted cheese and you have everything you ever need in a burger. It has all the trimmings like bacon, pickle, lettuce, tomato however they all take a back seat in the overall flavour of the burger and just add a bit of texture. This is without a doubt not the most photogenic burger on the scene, and it will leave you looking like an absolute mess, but who cares. If I were to entertain some of our American burger blogger friends in Melbourne, I would take them here and they would feel at home (burger wise). I’d just ask them to turn a blind eye to the bogan tourists at the other tables and the price tag.”

“This is a modern day burger with a good old fashioned greasy factor. The pattie was just what they claim all their burgers to be on their menu: “All burgers served pink and juicy”. The juices will pretty much use up 10 serviettes just when sinking your teeth in the first bite. Be sure to position your chips under the burger to soak up all those beautiful tasty juices. The pickle and special sauce were spot on. The burger did have cheese in it, but I don’t think it needed it; sometimes less is more and I felt that the cheese was just getting lost in the myriad of flavour. Chips were damn fine..”

“It’s been a while since I’ve eaten a burger and thanked a higher power for the greatness before me. The beef was soft but not too delicate and left a coating of glorious fat swimming around my mouth. With every passing meal I constantly ask myself whether I should head down to Merrywell for another amazing burgasm. The juicy, fatty, tasty pattie is so rockstar I don’t even think it needs any of its entourage to back it up. But they were there, and they played a wicked supporting role, allowing the beef to sing to my tastebuds whilst they threw bras and g-strings in its general direction.”