Red Egg*

Thursday, March 10, 2011
Red Egg – 500 Chapel Street, South Yarra, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Wagyu Beef
Serviettes:
4
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
6 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t expect much
Price:
$23
Summary

Red Egg is a newly opened, recently renovated restaurant in the space of previously famed Angeluccis and Studio Cafe. Dining takes place in a very large and lounge-like room amidst dim lighting, modern furnishing and decor. With busy Chapel St at its door, Red Egg’s sidewalk dining is the perfect place for both “sight seeing” and being seen. They boast a wide range of Modern Australian dishes from seafood and steaks, as well as enticing wood-fire pizzas and plenty of meals designed to be shared. We launched into their Wagyu Beef Burger that came on a focaccia/baguette-like bun with tomato, lettuce, caramelised onion, bacon, cheese, a Wagyu beef pattie and a side of fries.

Comments
“I started off a little condused as I was expecting to have a duck egg on my burger – this was one of the main reasons I was taking the guys here. After speaking to the staff, I found out people weren’t the biggest fans of duck egg, so they took it off the menu.. how rude! It wasn’t the easiest burger to manage, especially when using a round beef pattie on a rectangle ciabatta bun. Each of the ingredients were packed full of flavour, with the beef and fried onions as the standout winners, but I ended up having to eat them individually and all in different stages.”
“A burger with a lot of potential. The pattie for starters gets a BIG tick – juicy, slightly pink in the middle, great taste and cooked just right. The Cheese was good, the onions could have been a little bit more caramelised and bacon slices with big strands of fat were a poor choice. The sauce that came with it was ok, but the biggest disappointment for me was the dense loaf of bread they used as a bun. It was a dough overload and a more traditional bun would have suited it better. Fries were ok.”
“The chefs are either boa-constrictors or they haven’t actually tried eating this burger. It was such a pain in the ass (more specifically, jaw) to get the first bite in. The bun was ALL WRONG and was almost like a spongy baguette. There was really nothing great about this burger. The meat was OK, but it was more like a rissole than the succulent Wagyu pattie I was expecting, and the veggies weren’t anything exciting. The only plus to this challenge of a burger was the bacon, which I found quite good. But saying that, it is pretty difficult to screw up the delicious meat-candy that is bacon.”

*Last we checked Red Egg had closed. We swear it’s not our fault.


Jones the Grocer

Thursday, February 10, 2011
Jones The Grocer – 1341 DANDENONG RD, CHADSTONE
(CHADSTONE SHOPPING CENTRE), VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA
Burger:
Jones Wagyu Burger
Serviettes:
1
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
6 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in the area
Price:
$16
Summary

In 1996, in the prominent Syndey suburb of Woollahra, Jones the Grocer opened their flagship store. Recognising a new growth in café culture they sought out to offer their customers fantastic service and produce (like a great café), but then also sold all their produce for use in everyday living (like deli). So when Chadstone Shopping Centre went through an epic makeover in 2009 they looked to Jones The Grocer for something new and different that many shoppers hadn’t yet experienced. The big glass structure that is Jones the Grocer Chadstone is hard to miss when trying to find a park. Feel free to browse their produce like fresh bread, cured meats, international jams and most notoriously, the cheeses in the their walk in cheese room. But, if you can’t wait to get home to try your purchases you can always dine in. Jones’ menu caters for both the early risers and the afternoon shoppers offering everything from traditional breakfasts, all the way to freshly prepared baguettes, pasta, risottos and salads for lunch. Most importantly of course is the Jones Wagyu burger. It comes with a Wagyu beef pattie, bacon, lettuce, gruyere, Jones bois boudran sauce and olive oil chips. Now all thats left to do is decide whether you prefer this or Capital Kitchen’s Cheeseburger just around the corner.

Comments
“I wasn’t sold on this burger. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, I think I was personally a little let down by the beef pattie. I thought the beef was a little pasty, somewhat like sausage mince. Not to say that it actually tasted like that (even though so many others do). In the end you could tell the beef was of good quality and taste, but it just wasn’t the kind of pattie I like. All other ingredients were fresh and well proportioned. I particularly enjoyed the bun and fries.”
“A small and well proportioned burger. The beef was a little charred for my liking but its still had a great crumble and flavour to it. On the top bun you had the ketchup and on the bottom there was possibly one of the best mayos I’ve ever tasted. To finish it off it had perfect presentation with a fancy dollop of sauce on the side for the chips. I’d advise not ordering if you are on your lunch break from work; this place is catered towards the ladies who stop by during/after shopping and are in no rush..”
“Overall a good lunch time burger. However, there is one condition: you have to wait 15-25min for your burger to arrive (service can be a bit slow, but that’s ok because the final product is worth it). I wasn’t a fan of the chips cooked in olive oil – some of them were too greasy and heavy. The positives included a light, small and very easy to manage bun, a light and well cooked pattie, perfect bacon, a very tasty and nicely melted gruyere and just the right amount of carefully selected lettuce leaves.”
“The sauce on the wood is undesirable and is different just for the sake of being different. The chips your meant to use to dip in it are cooked in olive oil – nothing but a gimmick because quite frankly they taste bad. It did take forever to get service/meals but in the end, you honestly get quite a simple and decent burger with a Wagyu beef pattie that’ll melt in your mouth. To add to this there was salty, crunchy bacon and really good ratios of cheese and lettuce. Its a good, perfectly proportioned lunchtime burger.. but only if you’ve got all the time in the world.”
Jones the Grocer on Urbanspoon


Honey Bar

Thursday, December 30, 2010
Honey Bar – 345 Clarendon St, South Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Beef Burger
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
20 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t expect much*
Price:
$16.50
Summary

Honey is a bar that prides itself on letting its guests really enjoy themselves. Open late everyday, Carlton Draught on tap, free Wifi, and an excellent food menu that any decent bar worth it’s salt should have. On top of all this there’s personable service, a relaxed and comfortable environment and decent tunes in the background. When all these things line up, what else would nail the occasion but their Beef burger with bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, caramelised onion and chips.

Comments
“This burger didn’t really do anything for me. I found that none of the flavours really had bite and it seemed a little bland. The beef pattie was well-cooked, but reminded me of a rissole. There was also a lot of bitter lettuce involved. I know the other guys will say it, but Turkish bread again? Really? Big props on the amazing chips.”
“I understand what Chris Farley was going through when scoffing down the chips on this SNL skit. I fell in love and would marry these chips if I could. By the way the beef was grey, the lettuce a touch bitter and the bun was Turkish.”
“This burger had some good things going for it. The pattie reminded me of rissole meat, a tad bit bland, but was OK. The bacon, cheese, and onion worked well. The stand out though wasn’t the burger, it was the chips. Not sure if they were beer battered or double cooked, but they were AWESOME. The most disappointing part though was the Turkish bread; it just doesn’t work in burgers guys. I would recommend it as a dinner or a hangover burger (a bit too heavy for lunch).”
“A trend amongst bars/pubs is the Turkish bread thing. . this has got to change. They’re better off spending more money on a simpler bread roll and putting extra cash into a more premium grass-fed beef. Saying that, the rustic homestyle pattie was still soft and pretty juicy, but flavour-wise it was more like a rissole. In terms of ratios, there was too much lettuce going on and not enough cheese for my liking. I’d say this goliath would be best suited as an excellent hangover cure or as something you could wolf down after just finishing a marathon. Massive bonus points for some killer chips.”
Honey Bar on Urbanspoon


The Millswyn

Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Millswyn – 131-133 Domain Rd, South Yarra, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Millswyn Burger
Serviettes:
1
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
16 minutes
Would we recommend:
Definitely
Price:
$19.50
Summary

Just opposite Melbourne’s Botanical Gardens along Domain Rd, you can’t miss a refined and sexy looking locale by the name of The Millswyn. You’re welcome to grab a spot at the bar or in the dining room, but with warm nights fast approaching, the terrace is the perfect spot for a bite and a beer. With a menu that ranges from a selection of Charcuterie, seafood and “Midnight Sweets”, you might find yourself tempted by the Millswyn Burger (available on the bar menu all week), which comes with a thick beef pattie, a toasted sesame seed bun, BLT garnish, avocado, relish and fries. Now all that’s left to do is decide on a drink.

Comments
“I really believe that when a meal comes out with great presentation, it will nearly always taste a little bit better. They have gone to a great effort to create a visually pleasing burger. Luckily it didn’t end there! A tender and juicy pattie sits on a slightly sweet bun with all your extras accompanied on the side. It was a nice change to go without cheese – it would’ve actually taken away from the burgers true flavours. I loved the side of relish, but I’m not sure how much the avocado really added.”
“You know a burger is good when it doesn’t need cheese. The beef was simply perfect and cooked with the right shade of pink. There was also the just right amount of fat to hold it all together and keep it juicy. The intertwined BLT combo with avacodo was very fresh and it didnt take away from the flavour of the beef, also giving it a really nice texture. Great atmostphere, decor, music and good-looking people everywhere.”
“A really enjoyable burger. The preparation that went into it was obvious, and the quality of the produce was of the highest standard. The beef was thick, juicy and fantastic. The blanched tomato slice was tasty and the avocado with bacon always mix well. There was no cheese, but it didn’t need it. What I really enjoyed was the relish (please try it when you go) that was a perfect dipping sauce for their very well-executed fries. And incase you have a spare $25 in your pocket, try washing it down with the Estrella Damm Inedit Beer – damn good.”
“As soon as it came out I was reminded of the USA, where building your own burger is a regular occurrence and makes the pickiest of eaters happy campers. I threw the lot in between the soft sesame seed bun and went to town. Definitely some of the nicest beef I’ve had; simple, soft, tender and tasty as hell. It was hard to tell if the avocado was needed; whatever it added it was subtle. The bacon was awesome, lean and a bit crunchy, with a hints of Kielbasa that you might pick up from an Eastern European deli. Salutations to the chef and the team for creating such a unique and luxurious dining experience.”


The Burger Shop*

Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Burger Shop – 195 Carlisle Street, Balaclava, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
The Lot
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
20 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in the area
Price:
$9.90
Summary

A welcoming and basic burger bar. Nothing flashy, no gimmicks – just burgers. How can you go wrong with that? On a summer’s night, the seat of the house is definitely a barstool by the window. This makes for some excellent people watching as well as hopefully catching some of that light summer breeze that floats in and out the door. We managed to grab a couple of small tables and watched as the cook made us “Lot” burgers with lettuce, tomato, caramelised onion, egg (free range), bacon, home-made beef pattie and tomato sauce.

Comments
“This place feels like it started off as a Fish n Chip shop and after a while they couldn’t be bothered with the fish, so they stuck with doing burgers… very good burgers that is. There was nothing fancy or out of the ordinary, just a solid burger done well.”
“No big surprises here. This place made a tasty and moist burger; and there was nothing pretentious about it. I thought the pattie was appetising, and the bacon and cheese were good. If I had to change anything I would recommend better quality lettuce, without using the vain of the leaf. But again, I’m just being picky. It was all still pretty good. After I grabbed a Coke from the fridge, I did notice one thing that I wish I had seen earlier on the menu: “Milkshake and Thickshakes made with real ice-cream and milk”. Amen to that. Chips weren’t memorable.”
“I don’t know if this was a complete fluke (because I really wasn’t expecting it), but this happened to be one of the most balanced, and well proportioned hamburgers I’ve had in Melbourne. Individual flavours were almost seamless, like someone had baked some sort of awesome salty hamburger cake. Deconstructed, the pattie remained humble and wasn’t over seasoned – allowing beef and salt to be its main flavours. The egg, bacon and cheese were creamy and really enjoyable. My only qualm would be the garlic aioli I had as a dipping sauce. I love garlic, but I hate having my taste-buds beaten by it. Overall, I walked away just a little bit impressed.”

*Unfortunately The Burger Shop has closed down. Shame to see a decent burger go to the grave.


Kiwi Fish & Chips

Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Kiwi Fish and Chips – 412-442 Victoria Pde (in the Tribeca Apartments), East Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Aussie Beef Burger
Serviettes:
4
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
13 minutes
Would we recommend:
Definitely
Price:
$9.50 + $3.50 for chips
Summary

One kilometer away from Melbourne’s CBD you’ll find Tribeca Apartments. Nestled amidst their plaza, strip of cafes and shops is Kiwi Fish and Chips. Surrounded by a lot of people waiting to pick up their orders, we sat eating at their communal dining table (signing the odd autograph or two), when suddenly the attention turned to the counter. Fresh from winning the AFL Grand Final, the Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse stops in to have a chat and pick up some dinner for the family! So apart from the random celebrity siting, Kiwi Fish and Chips offers a traditional fish and chip shop menu including burgers, souvlaki and banana fritters, as well as a range of fresh fish that you can take home and cook if your feeling a little bit “Masterchef”. We ended up ordering the Aussie Beef Burger that includes a traditional sesame-seeded bun, a beef pattie, fried egg, onion, cheese, lettuce and tomato. For an extra dollar you can get the Kiwi Burger that comes with added pineapple and beetroot. For those ex-pat Kiwis out there, they even have Lemon & Paeroa (BYO Southern Comfort of course).

Comments
“I found this burger pretty choice ay! The bacon was fantastic and was cooked just right; crispy at the edges but still soft in the middle. I really enjoyed the onions. They reminded me of something you’d find on a good hot dog. The beef pattie was quite peppery and had a rough texture to it. The only thing I would suggest is to have the egg less cooked so it were a bit runny and that they’d add tomato sauce from the get-go. Oh the chups were choice as too!”
“With not much competition and other dining options available I can understand why this place was so busy. The burger was good but there was nothing special about it. The beef on its own was quite tough, but flavour-wise wasn’t noticable in the burger. You’ll definitely need to add ketchup. The banana fritter was amazing!”
“For a Fish’ n’ Chip Shop burger I thought it was pretty good. The beef was well sized and seasoned, onions caramelised to perfection and the bacon held it’s own. Two things that I thought slightly went against it was that there was no tomato sauce, which I found it needed. Even a base amount of sauce would have been a good thing and from there it can be up to the customer to add more if they wanted. The second thing was the lettuce.. a little too much. Chips were pretty good too.”
“The bacon was the first thing that grabbed me. It had just the right amount of crunch and saltiness shining through. The beef was altogether enjoyable and peppery, but I would recommend grabbing some ketchup to add some of that sweet zestiness that the orignal was lacking. My hat (if I were wearing one) goes off to the chefs. So many places tend screw this classic, simple but oversized kind-of-a-burger up. One wonders if there is some competition here for the acclaimed Andrews Hamburgers? Next time we’ll ask Mick.”


Squires Loft Steakhouse

Thursday, September 30, 2010
Squires Loft Steakhouse – 1 Queens Rd, Melbourne,
Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Wagyu Burger
Serviettes:
2
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
15 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in the area
Price:
$25.50
Summary

Formerly known as The Grill Room, the Squires Loft Steakhouses are synonmyous with excellent quality produce and mouth watering meats. Looking around the place it seemed like a bit of boys club; not too many women around apart from the service. However, the diners ranged from mates sharing some steaks over a pint, businessmen relaxing after a busy day and there was even a long table filled with jockeys talking track. We ordered the chargrilled Wagyu Burger, served on a toasted bun with bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and honey mayo. You also get to choose from a range of complimentary side sauces which normally cost you $4.50. Along with the burger there were onion-rings and chips. Those looking for a light meal, beware, the portions are large and quite hefty, even for the hungriest of carnivores.

Comments
“Such a clash of big flavours made me feel sick by the end of it. Individually the ingredients were great: the beef, gooey cheese, 2 pieces of thick bacon and Honey Mayo, but combined they were overpowering. Chips were slightly overcooked and they didn’t have enough salt. The onion-rings were great.”
“A burger that was ok but nothing too special. What made it better for me was the side of mustard that was really the hero throughout. With a drink you end up paying a lot.. but you do get a lot, including ok chips, average onion-rings and a complimentary side sauce (stay away from the blue cheese sauce! way too strong.) Would I go again? Probably not for a burger.”
“I was expecting a more refined product from these guys. Most of the elements on their own were tasty, but together, they started a flavour riot that was out of control. Props on the Honey Mayo and beef.. but a big thumbs down on the lettuce (way too basic, the kind you’d find in a 7-11 sandwich).”


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