Is it a pub or is it a restaurant? Well, it’s both. One part of the Grand boasts a dining room that offers a fine dining Italian menu, whilst the other is a loungey bar area. Here the story changes to good honest pub grub and whole lot of beer and wine to share with your gang. The big difference between this venue and other typical Richmond divey pub is that your meal will be prepared by a “chef” not a cook. Overall the atmosphere was very much relaxed, with some great comfortable booths and dim lighting to hide all the sauce on your face. As always we went for the burger that came with a Wagyu pattie, cheese, brioche bun and served with fries and chilli mayo.

“As simple as a burger can be, just beef, cheese and bun, but done really really right. Everything was in perfect proportion, with enough of the sweet bun in each bite that also soaked up and retained all the juice from the beef without dissolving or falling to the plate. Something that is unintentional and would be hard to perfect, is a thin crust of burnt cheese that has formed from briefly hitting the hot plate, it’s so simple but so delicious and wish it could happen on every burger. Venue was warm, dark, cozy and ideal for a cold winters night.”

“This burger really didn’t resemble the typical pub burger we’ve come to expect. It felt more gourmet, where all the ingredients were refined – it was a case of fewer ingredients really going a long way. The soft pattie just crumbled in my mouth. It tasted great, simple, elegant and just a pleasure to eat. Aside from the pattie the bun was soft and sweet in typical brioche fashion. It was a great experience and a simple burger I would go back for. Chips were great.”

“Many will tell you, simplicity is key when making a decent burger. Awesome for us, it looks like someone told these guys. It was basically beef, cheese and bun. No matter which angle you looked at it from there was cheese oozage. It was safe to say that whilst taking photos my eyes had talked this thing up to my tastebuds. Unfortunatly they were a little let down. In the end the bun became too much hard work and the cheese didnt really bring much to the table. The soft fatty pattie was the highlight by far, with parsley strewn throughout. Sure I’d go back, but to probably try some of their Italian signature dishes.”

Once you look past all the footballers’ wives and the Gold Coast-like shine of Bay St, you might notice some worthwhile spots to kick back with a bite and brews. The former Rose Hotel is no stranger to a make over, but this one looks like it might stay around a while. Mates, Steed Sherriff (ex The Royal Saxon) and Ashley Cranston (ex Little Creatures Dining Hall), have fitted this Port Melbourne establishment with an outfit for almost any occasion. Rose Diner out front (entrance off Bay St) takes a few diner dishes and adds a more modern twist. What took our fancy though was the offerings that Little Rose lists on their menu. Open for breakfast and lunch Little Rose dishes out a selection of hit-the-spot dishes like Jaffles, waffles and milkshakes. Casually sitting down in the Sunday sun we ordered the Southside Burger that came with a Black Angus pattie, smoked bacon, cheddar, tomato, and an onion ring all on a toasted brioche bun.

“After entering Rose Diner and asking about Little Rose, we were graciously escorted through the back door and past a row of kegs to find ourselves in Little Rose. Although I think we entered the wrong way, it really added to the mystique. Arriving in one of the red little baskets that automaticly make you think, “these guys aren’t f***ing around” I bit into a really great, sweet buttery bun holding a charred beef pattie – soft, pink and juicy on the inside. The fresh tomato and crunchy pickles work really well with single onion ring and smoked bacon. I have to say I am fairly impressed with this unassuming place.”

“First fun fact: food that is served in a red plastic basket tastes better. Second fun fact: food that features an onion ring tastes better. Therefore the combo of these two factors made for a really enjoyable burger experience. There was a nice bit of crunch coming from the perfectly charred beef as well as the fresh tomato and pickle slices. Although stacked high with a really soft and fluffy bun, everything ended up squishing down into an easily managable and tasty bite.”

“What really stands out for me besides the great tasting burger is the environment in which it was served. It really made me feel like I was at my local café (where everyone one knows the way you like your coffee) looking at the world go by. The burger itself was great, with a great buttery bun, juicy pattie and some great tasting supportive condiments. The pickle was crisp, fresh and tasted tremendous when combined with the mayo dressing. Big props for the crispy onion ring and chips that had been beautifully cooked.”

“I’ve got a confession to make. What really drove me to take B,D and G to Little Rose was the waffles. If you’re opening up an eatery and want to get my attention, add burgers + waffles to your menu. The burger was unveiled in magnificent fashion, gliding out in a red basket – pretty as a picture. It was salty and sweet; mainly from a nice balance between the tomato and single onion ring. A really nice move on not going overkill by not adding too many. The beef had a slight charr to it but was soft as marshmallows on the inside. My only suggestion might have been the addition of little spice? Whether in the burger or some jalapeno poppers on the side – but thats just me being picky. I really, really rate this burger. And for 11 bucks this thing is incredible.”

It’s fair to say that when a place takes on a name like “Gramercy Bistro” you’re more than likely to think of all that is cool about Manhattan. Go on and add one of Melbourne’s trendiest hotels in the Cullen (a part of the Art Series Hotels) and big expectations loom. Paying homage to some of NYC’s greatest hotels, owner Adam Faigan and Head Chef Rodd Blutman and his team have put together a menu that injects a little bit of Melbourne into many go-to New York dishes like Reuben sandwiches, Steak frites, Buttermilk Pancakes of course, the humble hamburger. Catering for every kind of diner also extends to the layout: a casual deli/cafe approach towards the front, cocktails and cigars in the inside-outside area, or the relaxed, but a touch more formal, dining space near the back of the restaurant. On a sun filled Sunday we sat smack-bang in the middle and ordered their signature Gramercy Burger that comes with a Brioche bun, Wagyu beef pattie, bacon, onions, pickles, melted cheddar, tomato, relish, mustard and a side of shoestring fries.

“Some really nice presentation here with crispy salty fries served in an unpretentious cardboard box and the burger topped with a pickle. The highlight for me was the perfectly melted, super smooth, creamy and gooey cheddar cheese that ultimately enveloped the beef and married the bacon. The bun was super soft and sweet, which worked really well with the creaminess of the cheese and the contrasting tang of the mustard. The beef pattie was the right size and cooked just right, however it lacked a whole lot of flavour. I would of loved the bacon to be a bit crispier to add a bit of crunch to a burger that overall lacked a variety of texture.”

“We’re not off to a good start when I say the standouts in this burger were the bun, bacon and cheese. The pattie was a bit bland but, supported by all these awesome tasting side ingredients, as well as the tangyness of the mustard, really made up for it. Due to the pattie tasting a bit processed and run of the mill, more sauce had to be added. The fries weren’t great and to add insult to injury my Coke was a bit flat. However bonus points for the lime wedge.”

“Mouth agape I thought, “Wow, what a work of art – a sexy, classy work of art.” But then I caught eye of the weird multicoloured beef. I thought the worst, expecting a multitude of unnecessary herbs and spices to choke the beef’s potential. To my surprise, when I bit in a wave of enjoyment ran up and down my tastebud valleys. The highlight ingredients for me were the cheese, the bacon and maybe even the pattie. The not too overpowering mustard was masterfully added but the relish was a smidge too jammy and sugary. It was actually good! But then like most relationships, it kind of got boring. Not to say that this is a bad burger at all. But it didnt leave me wanting more, not out of hunger, but pure allure.”

That’s right, Melbourne has another American-style Diner. What separates this place from the other dozen Americana eateries around town is the subtleness of the dining area. Even though it gives nod to some old school American diner properties like the long bar, the stools, the table layout and the open style kitchen. It still has that certain unique Melbourne cafe quality to it, whether it be the Asian style pork sliders that appear in the menu or the fine china used in service, it all represents Melbourne’s multicultural casual quirkiness. This of course is all backed by some great, friendly service and coffee aroma that greets you at the door. We chose to smash the Parlour Burger that came with a 8oz Beef pattie, tomato, lettuce, cheese, pickles on a brioche bun.

“This burger wasn’t exactly what I expected from these guys given the decor, menu and atmosphere of the diner. And, after a little tweaking I was a very happy camper. At most I enjoy a little bit of lettuce to add a bit of crunch and texture in a burger. I don’t actually want to taste all that greenery, so when presented with this much sharp and bitter flavour I promptly removed it. What lied beneath was a thick, juicy, well seasoned beef pattie covered in perfectly melted cheese on a super soft and glistening sesame bun. Just a word of warning, there is a small and sharp skewer hiding, like a tree trunk holding up all those leaves.”

“What I loved and hated about this burger was the imperfection of it. Like the pattie tasting great, but being over cooked. Great choice of bun, but cut unevenly leaving the base really thin. There was too much green stuff, but I loved the pickles. There is a trend here of good things working for this burger, but maybe lacking that extra bit of care that could really make it pop. Loved the curly fries though, no if’s or but’s about that!”

“This is a fresh, tasty summertime burger. Especially when you couple it with some curly fries, onion rings and maybe even a milkshake. Although the pattie was thick and juicy, all that greenery almost made me think I was eating healthy for once. But it only took more two bites for that bull to poke its horns out of the forest and remind me I was eating a meaty and a lovingly fatty hamburger. Between it and the lettuce, I actually missed all the rest of the other ingredients. Whether this was because the burger was super balanced or they were drowned out by the Amazon amount of lettuce I’m note sure. I’d definitely head back with a crew next time I’m around.”

Drugstore Espresso originally started out catering to Melbourne’s first love/obsession/addiction, coffee. Full of confidence, Shaun Nielsen (formerly of Steer Bar & Grill) closed its doors and began a full renovation. Chipping away at the mould of a traditional cafe, he gave birth to a monster establishment; proud coffee kings with Drugstore Espresso by day, but then it’s burgers and beers with Burger Joint by night. Obviously not one to play by the rules, he offers various burgers with options including Rangers Valley Angus beef, Jerk chicken, John Dory fish and 12 hour cooked lamb shoulder. One look at the drinks menu and you would be convinced you’re in an American Diner with a range of classic American beers like Budweiser, Brooklyn Lager and Samuel Adams aswell as 6 alcoholic milkshake flavours. We grabbed a seat upstairs at the large communal table and ordered the Classic that comes with a Moondarra Tajima Wagyu Beef pattie that’s minced in-house and served pink. Then there’s the thick bacon, lettuce, tomato, a fried egg, ranch dressing and a side of hand-cut chips and pickles.

“So once again I didn’t read the warning signs and completely destroyed this burger before even taking a bite. If there’s a skewer in the burger, do not take it out. Hopefully one day I will learn my lesson, but I highly doubt it. After several attempts reconstructing my mess I sort of managed to eat it like a civilised human being. The beef was extremely crumbly and completely broke apart into several pieces, which was a shame, because it had a great taste to it. In stark contrast – texture wise – it was the thickest, smokiest, chewiest piece of bacon I’ve ever eaten. I would have loved it if it was a bit thinner and possible to actually bite through. The egg and ranch sauce added enough creaminess to justify not having any cheese. The chips were crispy, salty and amazing.”

“Drugstore Espresso seem to have established a really relaxed and friendly feel. The beers, shakes and food options dabble to a degree of a US diner experience. This place did set a new record for me though: the pattie falling apart even before I took a bite. Burgers are not meant to be a tidy and a clean affair and this week’s burger adventure certainly wasn’t classified as a formal occasion. But, having your pattie split into 3 pieces whilst going for a bite can certainly skew your opinion on the food. But for me I can’t say I minded it that much as the end product was still good. The ranch dressing with the burger was a good mix and did add some high notes to each bite. The chips were ok, but what made it for me was the milkshakes – go on, give them a go!”

“Ok, You can tell there was good intention here. It’s pretty obvious when you start to catch the enthusiasm from the staff. But, unless blowjobs and Rolexs are involved the staff can hardly save a burger if it’s below par. What I had delivered to me was an almost Frankenstein of burgers. It was as if someone said, “Hey, burgers are popular. Brioche is trending. Oh, so is Wagyu Beef. Fat Cut chips? I hear they’re the shiznit”… and then just went for it. Ok, maybe not, but that’s how it came across as I ate. Watching in horror as the other dudes burgers disintegrated in their hands like sandcastles in a tsunami left me was hoping the same fate wasn’t waiting for me. My burger wasnt as bad but still fell apart pretty quick. Saying all this, all of the elements on their own were quite fresh and tasty, but together it made for an all-around awkward experience. Although I was quite relaxed after a few alcohilc milkshakes.”

Stepping through Bess’ front doors is like being teleported straight into the heart of Paris. With a classic black and white chequerboard floor, cane seats and, mood lighting that’d make Julia Gillard look like Miranda Kerr, it’ll take a friendly “Hello” to bring you back to Melbourne. Owners Katie Krauss-Mitchell and Brendon Mitchell (formerly of Prahran Gastropub Hotel Max), have breathed new life into this Victorian without killing any of its century old romance. Their French/Belgian/European inspired menu draws from the pages of their own experience living and traveling abroad, offering dishes such as duck breast, spaghetti marinara, suckling pig and jamon croquettes. We of course ordered the Bess burger that came included a brioche bun, a 100% Cape Grim beef pattie, cheese, gherkin, iceberg lettuce, bacon & a side of fries.

“I like this place, I like this burger – I honestly can’t fault it one bit. The burger came out perfectly presented with the fries served in an unpretentious brown paper bag. There was a nice chunky piece of beef, cooked perfectly containing a tonne of juice and flavour. It had a really sharp slice of cheese over the top (which overpowered the ham but who cares), and a nice slice of pickle underneath it resulting in plenty of taste until the last bite. Bess is a really nice restaurant with really nice, well informed wait staff and, has a delightful ambience. This is why I was surprised at how quiet it was – but it is footy season and I guess there was a game on down the road at the MCG. If I ever asked out a girl from north of the river (and she agreed to be seen in public with me), I would definitely take her here.”

“The Cape Grim beef pattie stole the show in my book. It was beautifully cooked, with a very delicate texture and a nice hint of smokiness. The menu states the burger comes with bacon, but for some reason we received our burgers with thin ham slices. The ham was OK, but I really would like to have experienced the saltiness of the bacon in the burger. I think it would have worked, but to be honest I really didn’t miss it. The gherkins delivered that fresh crunchiness to the burger that I so love. And, I don’t often say this, but I really liked the prep the kitchen did with the Iceberg Lettuce – taking something that is bland and cutting it delicately and mixing it in with the mayo, proving that Iceberg lettuce can be good in a burger (especially when fresh). Fries were good, loved the extra touch they add in serving it in a branded paper bag.”

“This burger came out looking sexy. So sexy in fact that I had it unhooked, unzipped and with its skirt on the floor. By “skirt” I mean the cute paper bag that the chips came housed in. Nice effect, but those babies needed to be free to absorb all of my (burger’s) juices. Now when I say that this thick Tasmanian pattie was cooked to perfection, I really want to stress that word: perfection. Two of my favourite things in the world are pink: one is the centre of a gloriously cooked pattie, the other is my favourite kind of midnight snack. The bun was sweet, tended to tear apart a bit, but still did a good job of keeping everything together. Something else that made me smile was the integration of the shredded lettuce and shredded gherkin. You didn’t know where one began and the other ended, forming like Voltron to become one ingredient. My only “wtf” was the use of a basic ham instead of the anticipated bacon. Did they run out of bacon? Do they not serve bacon on Sundays? Who knows? All I know is that if the Bess Burger was this enjoyable without it, then with it… Wow!”

“Luckily just after ordering we managed to get a seat at the bench which made the wait a little more bearable. Love the setup and the size of the menu; a very limited selection that means they have all of their time and energy to focus on just burgers. The actual Huxtaburger is one of the most visibly appealing burgers out there at the moment and that bun must the be lightest, fluffiest and sweetest bun I’ve ever had. I was even surprised as to how well it held all the ingredients together and didn’t dissolve. The beef was cooked well but there didn’t seem to be much fat and wasnt juicy at all. The cheese was melted perfectly over the top of the pattie, and parts of the slice oozed down and touched the hot plate which, is one of the best tastes on earth. The mustard was a little too strong for me – I think I’d rather have had more of the flavour of the pickle come through instead. Next time I’d love to try the double burger with the bacon to experience a bolder, beefier flavour to balance out the strength of the mustard and pickle.”

“We’re always getting recommendations for burger joints people would like us to visit. Most of them have eaten the burger and can give us the intricate details. But when you have a long-time vegetarian recommending a place that only makes beef burgers (not having tried the burger, but nevertheless tempted), you know this place is doing something right. Readers be warned this place is busy and you might have to wait a while, but credit to the staff for working their butts off. When it comes out the burger looks delicious. The croissant-like bun is by far the star of the show, slightly greasy on the outside and soft to hold, this bun is sweet as hell and could just be served on it’s own for breakfast. The pattie is ok; not a lot of seasoning and thin in size, but it does the job. The tang from the mustard and pickles can take over the burger, but I really don’t mind it – any burger with mustard earns my respect. Overall it’s not a fatty burger and is definitely a burger I can eat twice a week for lunch. One burger is sufficient, but I would recommend going for a double pattie. Chips were ok.”

“I could go on about the amazing bun, the delicious cheese, the not so juicy beef pattie or even the hipsteriffic clientelle. But I won’t. All I’ll say is, eating this burger is a bit like finally going out with the hottest girl in school, only to find out she’s a devout Christian and all you’ll get at the end of the date is a handshake and God’s blessing. When I go back, I’ll be sealing the deal by ordering an extra pattie, some bacon and extra cheese. Nice burger: if you’re into that sort of thing.”