Opposite the iconic Melbourne Bowls Club, Tyranny of Distance has slotted in perfectly and looks as if it’s slowly evolved over time from a humble shed with louvre windows. The eclectic interior was created and directed by local jewellery designer and goldsmith Marcos Davidson, with a giant gas bottle lamp being commissioned and featuring prominantly in the centre of the indoor/outdoor dining area (where you can smoke to your heart’s content). Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day with a generous happy hour each afternoon, Tyranny really caters to everyone from post exercise breakfasts to pre drinks at night with an emphasis on tapas style dishes. The Tyranny Burger is made with a house made beef pattie, bacon, smoked cheese, lettuce, mayo and served with crispy potatoes and smoked paprika aoili.

“This place has really grown on me. After frequenting several times and falling in love with the paella, I had some trepidation on how much attention they would give to a burger. However, I’ve come to realise they’ve given serious thought to each dish which combined with fresh ingredients, makes for really good food. The first thing I noticed was the super crispy rashes of bacon hanging out that added a great salty crunch when paired with the large, juicy beef pattie. The smoked cheese along with the paprika aoili added depth and enhanced the beef and bacon flavours while the crusty roll did its job and held everything together.”

“The Tyranny burger had a lovely tasting pattie with a pretty good bun. My contribution to take this burger up a notch was adding the provided side of chutney and mayo – the combo really worked out for my taste buds. The bacon was beautifully cooked to a crisp and tasted mighty fine. What really enticed me to smash into the burger though was the melted cheese that sat on top of the pattie. Overall a great and easy dining experience that I would definitely want to re-live some time soon.”

“It was a relief not to be served a brioche bun for a change. Week in week out it’s been the same of late. A trend that McDonalds will surely be next to jump onto. So I was chilling out max, relaxing all cool… when all of a sudden I saw the burger come out of the kitchen. It was oh so seductive. In other words, it was yelling “Eat Me!” as loud as it could. Whenever there’s a pool of cheese I’m ready for a dip. Biting in and my first thought was that the bacon reminded me of breakfast, which is not necessarily a bad thing as it’s one of my favourite meals of the day. I liked the pattie too – it was simple, beefy and to me, high quality. All in all, these guys make a decent burger that’s easily shared with your French friends who like to have a cigarette with their meal.”

Is it a pub or is it a restaurant? Well, it’s both. One part of the Grand boasts a dining room that offers a fine dining Italian menu, whilst the other is a loungey bar area. Here the story changes to good honest pub grub and whole lot of beer and wine to share with your gang. The big difference between this venue and other typical Richmond divey pub is that your meal will be prepared by a “chef” not a cook. Overall the atmosphere was very much relaxed, with some great comfortable booths and dim lighting to hide all the sauce on your face. As always we went for the burger that came with a Wagyu pattie, cheese, brioche bun and served with fries and chilli mayo.

“As simple as a burger can be, just beef, cheese and bun, but done really really right. Everything was in perfect proportion, with enough of the sweet bun in each bite that also soaked up and retained all the juice from the beef without dissolving or falling to the plate. Something that is unintentional and would be hard to perfect, is a thin crust of burnt cheese that has formed from briefly hitting the hot plate, it’s so simple but so delicious and wish it could happen on every burger. Venue was warm, dark, cozy and ideal for a cold winters night.”

“This burger really didn’t resemble the typical pub burger we’ve come to expect. It felt more gourmet, where all the ingredients were refined – it was a case of fewer ingredients really going a long way. The soft pattie just crumbled in my mouth. It tasted great, simple, elegant and just a pleasure to eat. Aside from the pattie the bun was soft and sweet in typical brioche fashion. It was a great experience and a simple burger I would go back for. Chips were great.”

“Many will tell you, simplicity is key when making a decent burger. Awesome for us, it looks like someone told these guys. It was basically beef, cheese and bun. No matter which angle you looked at it from there was cheese oozage. It was safe to say that whilst taking photos my eyes had talked this thing up to my tastebuds. Unfortunatly they were a little let down. In the end the bun became too much hard work and the cheese didnt really bring much to the table. The soft fatty pattie was the highlight by far, with parsley strewn throughout. Sure I’d go back, but to probably try some of their Italian signature dishes.”

If you’re reading this thinking California’s famous Father’s Office has opened up a faction in Australia, think again. Call it clever marketing or flattering imitation, it got us curious enough to check it out. Up some dark stairs along Little Lonsdale St and you’ll find yourself in a large bar draped head-to-toe in wood and 1920′s inspired paraphernalia. Serial entrepreneurs Stewart Koziora and Anna Carosa took over for Match Bar in 2012 and went on to create a space that caters to all walks of life. Whether it’s after work drinks, weekend comfort food or functions they’ve got it covered. On a weekend a decent drinks menu will keep you liquored up until 3am or if you’re more the civilised type and food is your vice then there’s plenty to choose from. An extensive Americana inspired menu will have you “Ooing and Ahhing” over Kansas City Baby Back Ribs, Philly Steak Sandwiches and Warm Apple, Pear & Blueberry Pie. We couldn’t look past the Man Burger though. It came with a brioche bun smothered in Dijon mustard, topped with a 200gm grass fed Queensland yearling MSA certified black angus pattie, 2 pieces of Swiss cheese, a layer of beer battered fries, 2 more pieces of Swiss cheese, a fried egg, a full rasher of bacon and chipotle mayo.

“It would’nt suprise me if whoever thought up of this burger was drunk, or if a large percentage of customers who consume this burger are also drunk. I’m sure it felt like a good idea at the time but its complete overkill and unnecessary. It’s a shame as each individual flavour was nice, but you don’t need 4 slices of cheese, aswell as a creamy gooey egg, aswell as mayo and mustard, aswell as a layer of chips to overpower and kill any flavour from the beef or bacon. So unless you have masculinity issues, are extremeley drunk or like feeling sick after a meal, I’d go ahead and order something else from the menu.”

“I’d read about this burger and had been a little bit impressed. I mean 4 slices of Swiss Cheese! That’s a party. I was pretty blown away when it came out. It was oozing with cheese as expected and I started to dread the extra KMs I’d have to run to burn this sucker off. Biting in was a bit of a challenge, purely because it was so dense. But immediatley all that mustard hit me. It was good! But that was only my first bite. After a while the burger became a bit of a chore and a boring one at that. I’ll give it points for consistency but all the flavours stayed on the same side of the spectrum. What this burger was missing was sweetness to cut through the heaviness. I’d replace the chips with either onion rings or caramelised onions. Screw it, just ketchup would have done fine. The menu says the beef is decent quality, but it didn’t hit me with too much flavour. On that day I didn’t have the stomach to finish this thing. But I still stick by Yokohama accomplishment if you want to challenge my eating prowess.”

After more than a few licks of paint in 2010, The Post Office Hotel opened its doors again to a more than happy Coburg neighbourhood. At its core it’s a Gastropub – but with probably a little more emphasis on the “pub”. The reason for this emphasis is purely because its such a homely and warm environment. It’s inviting and caters for everybody of all tastes, which really makes you question whether or not any of the locals would actually refer to it anything other than “the pub”. Although quite large with many different areas for drinking, dining or even maybe a little boot-scoot, their menu acts as if you’ve entered a high-end English cottage turned restaurant. Toulouse Sausages, Spaghettini with truffle oil and Spatchcock are offered from either their elegant Cafe229 & Dining Hall or Pub menus. On a cool Sunday evening we stepped up to the bar and ordered the Post Office Hotel’s Wagyu Burger that came with a 200g Wagyu pattie, lettuce, tomato, caramelised onions, gruyere, beetroot and a side of french fries. Be mindful, they don’t have ketchup, but the offer of chutney and aioli is plentiful.

“This burger was on the very verge of greatness for me, with the large, perfectly cooked wagyu beef pattie being the absolute highlight. Unfortunately the other ingredients were a little too strong and instead of enhancing the beef flavour, slowly overpowered it. From the buttery, flaky texture of the croissant-like bun and the sweetness of the beetroot relish and caramelised onions. I’d like to try a simpler version with just the pattie and the creamy gruyere cheese. I really enjoy a good stalk of a venue’s kitchen and peering in I saw some seriously good looking dishes being produced that I’d love to try next time I’m in the area.”

“This burger really ticked a lot of boxes for me. The brioche bun and beautifully charred pattie were the two great stand outs for me. I really would have been happy with the bun and pattie and done away with everything else, not because they were subpar, but because I loved the complex flavour of the pattie. The beetroot relish was great and together with the brioche really made the burger quite sweet. The melted cheese perfectly covered the pattie and combined really well with the caramelised onions. Chips were good.”

“Appearance-wise it looked a million bucks. However, my first bite in and there was drama. It was all very soft, but Wow was the pattie piping hot. Especially when compared to the rest of my room-temperature burger. I gave it a second as my tastebuds regained consciousness and continued. When you use beetroot, you run the risk of upsetting some people and pleasing others. This has to please all those who bite in. I think we’ve found the perfect amount of beetroot to use in a burger. Call me crazy, or maybe I just enjoyed the beetroot’s cooling properties. Extra highlights to add to it’s CV were the deliciously salty, melted gruyere all over the high quality pattie and, my favourite of all, the caramelised onions that popped up every now and then to give the burger a little bit of bbq fundraiser charm.”

With a mix of modern and vintage elements like white tiles contrasting with exposed timber beams, Babu Burger slots in perfectly in the ever-evolving, eclectic, Windsor end of Chapel St. Babu grind and mince their beef daily from Victorian beef and offer 150, 220 or 300g sized patties. They encourage you to create your own unique burger with a huge array of ingredients available. But, for the indecisive type, they have their “Favourite” burgers. We went with the number 1 that featured 220g beef, egg, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle and no sauce. But dont worry, they leave the saucing to the individual on the table.

“This burger looked like something you would make at home. That is, if you had plenty of time to pick out the best looking ingredients and position it all perfectly on a plate for a photo shoot. It may go to explain why on a relatively quiet night it took a while for the burger to reach our table. The beef was cooked medium and had a great course texture. However, it just wasn’t that flavoursome. Luckily the egg and the bacon made up for it. The tomato, pickle and onion added a great crunch but, the pickle was a little too big and fairly bland in taste. I was definitely full and satisfied by the end but it just wasn’t memorable for either a good or bad reason.”

“The pattie was thick and cooked to my likeing, but I did find it a bit bland. As a solution, I highly recommend adding one of their selected sauces to add some character. Out of all the condiments the egg and bacon were really the standouts in the burger. I found the egg beautifully runny and the bacon crispy as hell. The pickles however were a bit boring – no crunch and no zing. If you are a person that likes customising your burger this is the place for you. The option of choosing the thickness of your pattie and how well you like it cooked really adds bonus points to this place, plus the condiments on offer are endless. Chips were OK.”

“I couldn’t fault the quality of this product too much at all. They’ve got a good philosphy of letting the beef be the hero. As I looked down at the end of my meal to a pool of juice sitting atop my chips, I decided that A) Babu make a solid burger, and B) I was beyond full. However, it all left me a little conflicted. When I first looked the burger up and down, it appeared as classic as they come. But when I bit in I got a strong hit of all Babu’s signature Middle-Eastern spices. This threw me off. I get that it’s a bit of a twist on a classic, but why sit on the fence. What the #1 favourite lacked for me was a bit of boldness. If I had my time here again (and I will), I’ll be creating my own burger; attempting to celebrate all those exotic spices with a harem of seductive toppings.”

A pub with all the right elements: a beer tap, beer garden and a good variety of fancified pub grub (best enjoyed with beer of course). Ask any Richmond native and they will tell you this place is an institution; great for quick drinks after work, long lunches and Sunday dinners. Upon first inspection you might think this place is quiet and cosy – almost grandma cosy. But when you notice all the flatscreens and the sensational beer garden, you can imagine how busy it might get here on a Saturday night before/during/after the footy. As well a handful of imported and local beers on tap their menu offers the usual pub favourites but with a bit of a new age twist. They tried to tempt us with veal and sage sausages, herb and lemon crumbed chicken with radicchio and even spaghettini, but of course we were here for the Prince Alfred Burger. It came with a beef pattie on a brioche bun, relish, cheese, lettuce, onion, aoli, caramelised onions and a side of fries.

“I knew that the Prince Alfred had renovated and gone for a more refined dining style rather than the traditional pub. But what threw me was this formal dining area paired with flat screen TVs. I guess they thought that no dude should go without footy, even when the Mrs drags him out for a romantic weekend dinner. It was a well presented burger that played it pretty safe. As you would expect from this place all the ingredients they used were really fresh and packed with flavour. A thick juicy pattie was held together by a sweet fresh brioche bun, with a side of really good chips. Like I said… not a burger that’s changing the world, but it is something you could rely on being tasty everytime you go.”

“They’ve taken little risk in terms of ingredients; just your basic beef, cheese, lettuce and tomato between a bun. But my God, when you’re using really good quality and fresh produce that’s full of flavour, why would you mess with a sure thing? Starting off quite tall due to a giant hunk of juicy beef, everything eventually squashed down into a manageable bite. The lettuce and tomato added just the right amount of crunch but didn’t take anything away from the great tasting beef. Although if I had to pick out anything, it would’ve been a tad pinker pattie.”

“For a pub dining area it’s a bit more formal. With elegant chairs and tables, soft amber lights and well dressed staff, I almost felt like I needed to wear a shirt. But what threw me off were the flat screen TVs playing football – they made me feel like I was in a TAB. What frustrates me is not knowing what’s in my burger. Sometimes venues name a burger and don’t provide any details about whats in it (I need details folks). Overall, the burger was tasty, a touch sweet and good quality. Not to mention being accompanied by some great tasting chips.”

“Venue discrepancies aside, this was a lovely bite. Was it memorable though? Not entirely. I guess when you look at it on the grand scheme of things, it actually sits nicely with other tasty burgers. But, without anything to really to call its very own, it was hard to spot an “it” factor that could take the burger from good to great. Aside from that, it was simple, fresh and enjoyable. I really shouldn’t complain though because if I’m after a really fresh take on a classic in Richmond, I’d come here.”