Panned Pizza

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-PannedPizza

Panned Pizza – 189 Bourke St, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Juicy Lucy
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
15 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t expect much
Price:
$14
Summary

Some of the finest chefs and restauranteurs call Melbourne’s CBD home. Their restaurants are usually choc-full, booked out and most of the time break the bank. Panned Pizza is not one of these type of venues. Unless of course it’s a Saturday night and the party bus has pulled up around the corner. But, Panned Pizza isn’t trying to be anything fancy. They’re mission is to feed the hungry drunk people that stumble in the early hours of the morning with some American-style comfort food. We were enticed by the fact that these guys serve up the Minneapolis icon that is the Juicy Lucy – a burger that comes with a patty stuffed with cheese. This is the first of its kind we’ve ever encountered in Melbourne so we were excited to say the least. So there we sat: four dudes in a brightly lit Pizza parlour waiting on some Juicy Lucys. They came out on a brioche bun with a massive 220g wagyu beef patty filled with double Monterey Jack cheese in the centre, crispy lettuce, ripe tomato slices, caramelised onions, tomato sauce, American mustard and mayo.

Comments
“As someone who has watched an unhealthy amount of American food shows, I had inevitably heard of the Jucy/Juicy Lucy burger. After we asked what cheese was in the burger, the utter confusion from behind the counter made me wonder if we were the first sober people to actually order this burger in Melbourne. It didn’t look anything like its American counterpart, be it covered in grilled onions, lettuce and tomato and, it was a good couple of bites until I reached the cheesy centre. As you’d expect, the beef was cooked right through to melt the cheese so it was left a little dry. However, the triple combo of ketchup, mayo and mustard helped mask the bland beef flavour.”
“I think for a place that predominantly specialises in pizza they make a better pizza, but hell you have to appreciate their effort at a Juicy Lucy. There was a good amount of cheese in and around the double pattie. The pattie was a tad bit dry and the bun held it’s integrity withstanding oozy cheese and mayo. The mustard really cut through the burger considering the amount of grease it had in it and the chips were substantial. I’d advise maybe skipping a meal before going.”
“Walking in I had no idea what to expect. The staff had no idea either to be honest. The burger wasn’t bad. But it was all a gimmick. I don’t think it would’ve made a difference whether or not the cheese was inside or on top of the patty because it kind of just sat there unappealing-like (instead of oozing out like the prophecies had predicted). Things I noticed most were the the onions as a highlight and, that the beef was pretty tightly packed (to hold the cheese in imagine). It wasn’t an all together great first Juicy Lucy experience but I’m sure after a box of wine and a night out it’d be super.”
Panned Pizza on Urbanspoon


Burger Got Soul

Thursday, March 27, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-BurgerGotSoul

Burger Got Soul – 160 Sandy Bay Road, Sandy Bay, Tasmania, Australia
Burger:
Soul Burger
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
13 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t Bother
Price:
$10.50
Summary

If you’re after a cheeky burger in Hobart, most will tell you that Burger Got Soul is the place to be. Even before they opened up their Hobart branch, Tasmanians would’ve told you that the original in Launceston was well worth a visit. Family friendly and catering to everyone’s tastebuds, they offer an extensive burger list that is made up of over 30 burgers options with beef, chicken, lamb and veggie. There’s burger inspired free-hand art on the walls, friendly, enthusiastic staff and an all-round relaxed atmosphere at Burger Got Soul. After trying to work out exactly what I’d order I decided to go for their name sake and tried the Soul Burger that comes on your choice of bun (I went Traditional) with 100% lean beef, lettuce, tomato, relish, soul mayo and tasty cheese.

Comments
“As soon as I stepped foot inside this place it felt like a modern franchise. It was a Friday night and full of young families. Which surprised me because I can see these meals getting a little bit expensive. Especially when you ask for ketchup and it’s an extra $1: real greedy if you ask me. The burger was rather uninspiring. It tasted like something you’d get after a game at your local footy club, where Norm has popped down to the local supermarket, left the patties in the back of the Commodore for half the day and has decided that the darker the better. There was very little flavour to the patties but lucky for me there was tonnes of sauce and lettuce! I have no idea why this is popular. There are other places on my radar for next time. I’ll be heading there instead.”
Burger Got Soul on Urbanspoon


Father’s Office

Thursday, May 23, 2013
The-Burger-Adventure_FathersOffice

Father’s Office – 249 Little Lonsdale St, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Man Burger
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
21 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t expect much
Price:
$22
Summary

If you’re reading this thinking California’s famous Father’s Office has opened up a faction in Australia, think again. Call it clever marketing or flattering imitation, it got us curious enough to check it out. Up some dark stairs along Little Lonsdale St and you’ll find yourself in a large bar draped head-to-toe in wood and 1920′s inspired paraphernalia. Serial entrepreneurs Stewart Koziora and Anna Carosa took over for Match Bar in 2012 and went on to create a space that caters to all walks of life. Whether it’s after work drinks, weekend comfort food or functions they’ve got it covered. On a weekend a decent drinks menu will keep you liquored up until 3am or if you’re more the civilised type and food is your vice then there’s plenty to choose from. An extensive Americana inspired menu will have you “Ooing and Ahhing” over Kansas City Baby Back Ribs, Philly Steak Sandwiches and Warm Apple, Pear & Blueberry Pie. We couldn’t look past the Man Burger though. It came with a brioche bun smothered in Dijon mustard, topped with a 200gm grass fed Queensland yearling MSA certified black angus pattie, 2 pieces of Swiss cheese, a layer of beer battered fries, 2 more pieces of Swiss cheese, a fried egg, a full rasher of bacon and chipotle mayo.

Comments
“It would’nt suprise me if whoever thought up of this burger was drunk, or if a large percentage of customers who consume this burger are also drunk. I’m sure it felt like a good idea at the time but its complete overkill and unnecessary. It’s a shame as each individual flavour was nice, but you don’t need 4 slices of cheese, aswell as a creamy gooey egg, aswell as mayo and mustard, aswell as a layer of chips to overpower and kill any flavour from the beef or bacon. So unless you have masculinity issues, are extremeley drunk or like feeling sick after a meal, I’d go ahead and order something else from the menu.”
“I’d read about this burger and had been a little bit impressed. I mean 4 slices of Swiss Cheese! That’s a party. I was pretty blown away when it came out. It was oozing with cheese as expected and I started to dread the extra KMs I’d have to run to burn this sucker off. Biting in was a bit of a challenge, purely because it was so dense. But immediatley all that mustard hit me. It was good! But that was only my first bite. After a while the burger became a bit of a chore and a boring one at that. I’ll give it points for consistency but all the flavours stayed on the same side of the spectrum. What this burger was missing was sweetness to cut through the heaviness. I’d replace the chips with either onion rings or caramelised onions. Screw it, just ketchup would have done fine. The menu says the beef is decent quality, but it didn’t hit me with too much flavour. On that day I didn’t have the stomach to finish this thing. But I still stick by Yokohama accomplishment if you want to challenge my eating prowess.”
Father's Office Speakeasy Bar and Restaurant on Urbanspoon


The Ludlow Formation

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Ludlow Formation – Building 3, 6 Riverside Quay,
Southbank, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Wagyu Burger
Serviettes:
1
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
4 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t Bother
Price:
$22
Summary

Looking out at Melbourne’s skyline at the foot of the Yarra River you have The Ludlow Formation. Nestled amidst several other restaurants, bistros and buskers, its a classy looking establishment with stone, raw steel, recycled timber and other designy jazz as far the eye can see. Their Head Chef Marc Brown has quite the rep behind him. Before arriving in Australia in 2001 from the UK, he trained at some of London’s top restaurants, including several Michelin-starred establishments, and worked with some of the world’s foremost chefs including Albert Roux, Anton Adelman, and Michel Lorain. But whilst at Ludlow he’s crafted the menu to take on a more Southern European feel with everything from Slow Braised Rabbit to Coconut Parfait – quite the extensive menu. We’d heard a thing or two about their burger so, sitting outside with live music at our backs we ordered their Wagyu Burger that comes on a brioche bun with Mahon Cheese, thick-cut Istra Bacon, spanish mojo (code for secret relish), lettuce, mayo and a side of fries.

Comments
“I really hope these guys were having an off day, because this burger had so much potential, however, it was absolutely horrendous. The two most important elements of a burger are the beef and bun. In this case both were terrible, both of them burnt to an absolute crisp. I’m not exaggerating when I say the beef could survive a full 60 minutes as a puck in an ice hockey game. If you combine this food with the bogan tourist clientel that filled the remainder of the restaurant, your not going to find many repeat, local customers, myself included.”
“Ok before I get stuck into it, from the top, there is a lot of potential here. But with a burnt beef pattie on the outside and an almost rare/ pinkish inside I really didn’t get the opportunity to taste much. The bun was a waste, such a beautiful bun burnt to s^@t. I was devastated to see the way this promising, beautiful bun was treated on the grill – for shame! The “Mojo sauce” that comes in the burger really missed the mark and delivers a healthy punch of garlic that will leave you reaching for after dinner mints. What added more insult to injury was the cover band! There is something about Southbank that always brings out the worst in a Melbourne dining experience: from the table service to the meal and the over priced restaurants full of cashed-up bogans, it will take me a while to to get past this anger for Southbank. Chips were ok, tasty and crispy.”
“This is a chefs worst nightmare. You take a day off to feed baby ducks by the pond and the kitchen turns into a black hole. On paper, and on previous tips, this burger sounded the business. Sure it was unforgettable, but for the wrong reasons. I won’t spout them all again, but when you burn 3 potentially delicious patties and buns something has got to be done. The most enjoyable part of the meal was when I tore out the bacon and ate it solo; quite decent in-fact. There’s a lesson to be taken away in all of this and it’s all about being consistent. Whether you’re cooking for the King of England or John Smith from next door, always deliver your best. We never announce ourselves or tell the wait-staff who we are. We’re just a couple of dudes ready to smash some sweet-ass burgers and we expect our burger to be just as good as anyone else’s on any given night. Noone’s a winner here. A really sad day for everyone involved.”
The Ludlow Formation on Urbanspoon


Cheeseburger Baby

Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Cheeseburger Baby – 1505 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach, Florida, USA
Burger:
1/2 pound Cheeseburger
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
0 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t Bother
Price:
$6.50 USD
Summary

Touted as the ‘oldest burger joint on South Beach”, Cheeseburger Baby appears to have stood the test of time in a city where you’re either hot or you’re nothing. The menu is simple and uncomplicated, with fries as a separate order and the option of some sandwiches and hotdogs. The service that sets this place apart is their offer of free delivery to the entire South Beach area. If you’re game, you can also try “The Punisher” – a 5 pound burger which gets you a free t-shirt and photo on the wall of fame if you finish it. No mention of a free visit to a cardiologist.

Comments
“Well yes, I’m the sucker that fell for the free delivery. Smart of Cheeseburger Baby to capitalise on the thousands of hotel rooms in the area – theoretically, it was supposed to be a cheap and delicious alternative to room service. Unwrapping the burger, it was clear from visual inspection alone that things did not bode well. The meat was horrendously overcooked, terribly seasoned and was falling apart. Quite possibly the worst burger I have ever eaten, second only to Misty’s Diner.”

For even more awesomeness from BURGERMARY click here

Cheeseburger Baby on Urbanspoon


Brasserie Les Halles

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Brasserie Les Halles – 411 Park Ave South, Murray Hill,
New York, NY, USA
Burger:
Hamburger Rossini
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
15 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t bother
Price:
$20 USD
Summary

When mentioning Les Halles to most New York foodie folk, the first remark is usually “Isn’t that Bourdain’s restaurant?” Well, sort of. Previously the executive chef, Les Halles now call him their “Chef at Large” as he travels the world writing and filming his hit show “No Reservations”. Its story runs a little deeper than celebrity chefs though; the Brasserie pays homage to its roots in French cuisine, named after “Les Halles” the historic central wholesale marketplace in Paris. As well as providing Manhattanites with “American Beef, French Style” they serve simple and classic French dishes such as escargot, foie gras, steak tartare (prepared to order at table side) and their renowned pommes frites. The Park Avenue location even features a butcher shop that specialises in French cuts of meat. Hoping that with all this hype and “French Style” beef talk they’d have an awesome burger I ordered the Hamburger Rossini that came with char-grilled ground beef (made to order), a slice of house made fois gras terrine melted on top, dip of black truffle and red wine sauce, plus a side of pomme frites.

Comments
“I felt this thing was beef overkill. There were so many strong, gamey flavours going on that they all clashed making each bite so so heavy and filling. The large chunk of beef was cooked well, however I felt it was a little bit too big for the burger. The fois gras and truffle oil were just so unnecessary; it was like they wanted to sound French and extra fancy in an attempt to try and impress the local Americans who were looking for a bit of culture. Having said all this, the chips (pommes frites) were absolutely amazing! Had this burger been in any other city, I’m sure it would of rated higher. But when you’re in a place like New York City and you’re exposed to a myriad of awesome burger options, some even at a quarter of the price, I’d say you’re better off skipping it.” ”
Les Halles Park Avenue on Urbanspoon


Mail Exchange Hotel

Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Mail Exchange Hotel – 688 Bourke St, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
M.E.H’s Beef Burger
Serviettes:
2
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
4 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t Bother
Price:
$18.50
Summary

The ominous looking building that is the Mail Exchange Hotel is rich with history. Prior to being constructed, it was the home of Robert Hoddle who famously designed the layout for Melbourne’s inner city streets. After the land’s acquisition in 1913 by the Post Master General’s Department, construction began for a new building that would ease the congestion of another Melbourne landmark, The GPO. So, after almost 100 years and a few tenants later, nothing would be more Australian than to turn the old gal into a pub. The ground floor on the building has been been completely restored and features a 200 seat bistro, central bar, atrium with internal courtyard and informal lounge areas (the Pokies). With a pub-style menu for breakfast, lunch and dinner we went for the Mail Exchange Hotel Beef Burger that comes with 200 grams of chargrilled beef, lettuce, tomato, fried egg, bacon, mustard and mayo. This is all accompanied with a side of beer-battered chips and coleslaw.

Comments
“I don’t know why people bother putting something on the menu just for the sake of having it on there. If your not going to put any effort at all into something, don’t ruin it for everyone that is looking to enjoy a decent meal. Everything about the burger was wrong and uncared for. I really felt like my palette and stomach had been abused. Who the hell gave the green light for this to be on the menu?”
“I can’t really find anything positive to say about this burger, so I’ll just list the negatives: the bun was too big, stale and fell apart. The beef had very little flavour. They used the spine of the lettuce and the ends of the tomato. The “coleslaw” was wet cabbage with no mayo. So yeah, I think this place makes its money off the Pokies and the food is just an inconvenience for them.”
“Like a 5 year old that doesn’t want to eat his vegetables, you would have seen me react the same way with this burger. I hated burgers in general when I was eating it. I’m not even going to analyse it any further. It should just be removed from the menu and forgotten about. Readers – this was the first time I didn’t finish my burger – EVER. Damn you Mail Exchange Hotel, damn you..”
“As far as burgers go, this was shit. My bun fell apart almost instantly. The meat resembled a fast food chain just with some gourmet additions: chopped onion. You might be satisfied with this meal if you’d just gotten off a 24 hour plane ride and you were stuck in transit in Whothehellknowsville and this was the only thing to eat FOREVER. Come to think of it, the place kind of looked like a tacky airport lounge. It was a really nice, sunny day when we went though. I ate a Paddle-pop. I think it was banana.”
Mail Exchange Hotel on Urbanspoon