A diner like feel blended with the low lit cool-school-NYC restaurant/bar makes the Brother Burger and The Marvellous Brew one of the smartest new joints going around. Not even a month old and already getting a reputation around Melbourne, we had to hit it and see what it was all about. Greeting you upon entry is what feels like a never ending bar/communal table that invites you to sit and partake in a meal with the locals. Mostly, it’s a cool place to sit back, have a bite and a drink, and who knows you might even catch the gaze of the the chef and sweet-talk the man helping you create your own monster burger (we do not actually recommended this as most chefs will stab you for bastardising their pride and joys). So, with a good combination of burgers and other delectable bar foods you will definitely find something to satisfy that salt-tooth of yours. After some deliberation we went for The Lot that came on a sesame seed bun with a beef pattie, bacon, cheese, pineapple, lettuce, pickles, onion, mayo and “sauce”.

“The first emotion I felt was confusion, as when we arrived the front of the place was actually closed. Then I felt joy and recalled fond memories as I saw a neon sign that looked very similar to a very famous burger sign in New York City. Finally I felt visually impaired, as it was so dark in there I couldnt see shit. I’ve tried very hard to try and like pineapple in a burger as it pops up on a lot of menus around Australia. But still no luck, as I just dont like it. Its just too sweet and too overpowering flavour wise. After a few bites i tossed it and focused on the proper ingredients. The bun was super soft and tasted great however, did nothing to keep everything together and made a huge mess. The beef was a good thickness and was cooked well. There was perfectly melted cheese and the crispy bacon tasted great but only after the pineapple was removed.”

“For me the place didn’t really scream “we do burgers” (apart from the neon sign). It was more like a “bring your girlfriend and spend some cash” kind of place. Sure, there was still the diner feel to it, but it really did look quite sophisticated. I was never convinced we were going to get burgers from this kitchen and expected to be served a duck l’orange worth $45. Though when you open the menu you instantly notice that its all about burgers and a good blend of Australian bar food. The Lot does come with pineapple, which I’m not a huge fan of, but it is needed as I found the burger did lack some flavour, which pineapple help compensate for. I found the pattie a bit bland and the bun and fries were OK. The small plates the burgers are served on really annoyed me. Personal peev I know, but the plates are too small and you need a little bit more dish diameter to cover off spillage from the burger. On a side note I did find the Ginger Ale a bit weak and watered down, but hey it happens.”

“It’s not often you eat a burger and the pineapple is the highlight. But that’s only because the rest of this burger was kind of boring; disappointing when you’re forking out $17. I’ll give the meat credit for being supremely beefy but it needed to be salted and spiced a bit more. I enjoyed the pickle which was was nicely spiced and I wanted a whole lote more from the egg – more creaminess and more ooze. This thing didn’t commit a lot of serious crimes against the burger community, but most of the ingredients just didn’t turn up to the party like the pineapple did. Saying all that I’d still probably give that spicy burger on their menu a go.”

“I’m usually extremely embarrassed and rarely admit to people that on the rare occasion I can’t finish a burger. However, this one had me completely stumped and I honestly dont know many who could polish off this entire burger. Obviously the double patties were the first obstacle: both were cooked fairly well done and ended up being quite tough and chewy. To then add insult to injury they throw in the creaminess of egg, cheese and sauce that takes up valuable stomach real estate. My latest and greatest obsession has been the humble onion ring and I’ve come to the conclusion that they only belong next to the burger and not inside where it turns to mush. Would love to try a smaller, less intense version.”

“I really wanted to like this burger. I was conflicted by how much I love all the Bottom End burgers and how they usually bang out these awesome thingw day-in-day-out. But the Warnie really didn’t bowl me over at all. To begin with I don’t think they needed two patties; with all the ingredients this burger has already in it I don’t feel the two patties belonged in there. The patties really weren’t that great anyway. On the plus side the egg was cooked to a runny goodness and the cheese was so beautifully melted that together these two combined into a great ooze.”

“Yep, they warned us. I don’t know if it was because I’d been on the chicken wings and drink for most of the day but, this thing defeated me. It was big bad mother-effer and you need to bring an appetite if you plan on leaving with a clean plate. First off, the Mac’n'Cheese balls – amazing as always. The main thing I got out of this burger was the sweetness that came from the beetroot, bacon and bun. But, overall the burger disappointed me a little. I can see why they named it after the legend that is Warne. It was ridiculous. There was just so much going on. The patties weren’t overly impressive and lacked the quality that I’m used to at Bottom End. This meal feels like its a bit more of a “screw it I’m hungry I’ll eat anything” type of thing, that seriously drunk folk would appreciate. Sadly I wasn’t that drunk. I did end up with quite the full stomach and with sauce all over my face like a champ. But next time I’d be sticking to the Classic Cheesy Bacon burger.”

Drugstore Espresso originally started out catering to Melbourne’s first love/obsession/addiction, coffee. Full of confidence, Shaun Nielsen (formerly of Steer Bar & Grill) closed its doors and began a full renovation. Chipping away at the mould of a traditional cafe, he gave birth to a monster establishment; proud coffee kings with Drugstore Espresso by day, but then it’s burgers and beers with Burger Joint by night. Obviously not one to play by the rules, he offers various burgers with options including Rangers Valley Angus beef, Jerk chicken, John Dory fish and 12 hour cooked lamb shoulder. One look at the drinks menu and you would be convinced you’re in an American Diner with a range of classic American beers like Budweiser, Brooklyn Lager and Samuel Adams aswell as 6 alcoholic milkshake flavours. We grabbed a seat upstairs at the large communal table and ordered the Classic that comes with a Moondarra Tajima Wagyu Beef pattie that’s minced in-house and served pink. Then there’s the thick bacon, lettuce, tomato, a fried egg, ranch dressing and a side of hand-cut chips and pickles.

“So once again I didn’t read the warning signs and completely destroyed this burger before even taking a bite. If there’s a skewer in the burger, do not take it out. Hopefully one day I will learn my lesson, but I highly doubt it. After several attempts reconstructing my mess I sort of managed to eat it like a civilised human being. The beef was extremely crumbly and completely broke apart into several pieces, which was a shame, because it had a great taste to it. In stark contrast – texture wise – it was the thickest, smokiest, chewiest piece of bacon I’ve ever eaten. I would have loved it if it was a bit thinner and possible to actually bite through. The egg and ranch sauce added enough creaminess to justify not having any cheese. The chips were crispy, salty and amazing.”

“Drugstore Espresso seem to have established a really relaxed and friendly feel. The beers, shakes and food options dabble to a degree of a US diner experience. This place did set a new record for me though: the pattie falling apart even before I took a bite. Burgers are not meant to be a tidy and a clean affair and this week’s burger adventure certainly wasn’t classified as a formal occasion. But, having your pattie split into 3 pieces whilst going for a bite can certainly skew your opinion on the food. But for me I can’t say I minded it that much as the end product was still good. The ranch dressing with the burger was a good mix and did add some high notes to each bite. The chips were ok, but what made it for me was the milkshakes – go on, give them a go!”

“Ok, You can tell there was good intention here. It’s pretty obvious when you start to catch the enthusiasm from the staff. But, unless blowjobs and Rolexs are involved the staff can hardly save a burger if it’s below par. What I had delivered to me was an almost Frankenstein of burgers. It was as if someone said, “Hey, burgers are popular. Brioche is trending. Oh, so is Wagyu Beef. Fat Cut chips? I hear they’re the shiznit”… and then just went for it. Ok, maybe not, but that’s how it came across as I ate. Watching in horror as the other dudes burgers disintegrated in their hands like sandcastles in a tsunami left me was hoping the same fate wasn’t waiting for me. My burger wasnt as bad but still fell apart pretty quick. Saying all this, all of the elements on their own were quite fresh and tasty, but together it made for an all-around awkward experience. Although I was quite relaxed after a few alcohilc milkshakes.”

Formerly owned by Essendon FC captain and current coach James Hird, Red Mullet is a great alternative if your wanting to sit down and enjoy your classic fish’n'chip meal with a glass of red. As expected Red Mullet offers a large range of seafood, but they even go as far as tackling the less traditional fish’n'chip shop meals like paella and a variety of curries. You’ll also be able to purchase pre-marinated fish that those wanabe Masterchef’s can take home and cook for themselves. When it comes to hamburgers there are a bunch to choose from, with two fish, a veggie and of course the classic Lot Burger. We went in with an appetite and chose the Lot Burger consisting of a beef pattie, egg, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato and onion.

“I’ve got to say this is a really appealing burger to look at – all stacked neatly with just enough of a view of each ingredient poking out. For me, the standout for this burger though was the bun. It was really dense, tasty and kept everything together. The beef was a good size and had been cooked well. And, with the egg, bacon and cheese on top, it could do no wrong.”

“I’ve got this belief in life that when you go to a specialty seafood restaurant/Fish’ n’ Chippery, and request a burger, your chances of a good burger are automatically reduced to 50/50. So how was this experience (or adventure)? Well, I would say pleasant. The pattie was nothing special, but was cooked well and did taste OK. The bun reminded me of memory foam. I say that because you would find your finger indentation staying there once pressed into the bun, no bounce back at all! I found that the burger did need some sauce, but overall it was a good filling meal and the chips were ok too. Next time I would try the calamari.”

“This burger was neither here nor there. I really didn’t think much of it. The bun was nice and so were most of the condiments. But really it was a forgettable meal. For a burger packed with a whole lot of ingredients it really was “meh”. But at the same time, it didn’t exactly kick me in the nuts. ”

In 1972 a Greek immigrant known as Uncle Steve, arrived in Melbourne. Several years later, with his wife Poly at his side, he opened up his first fish’n'chip shop on Fitzroy St, St Kilda. Fast forward a few decades and Uncle Steve and his disciples have landed in the buzzing multi-cultural strip that has slowly evolved in Glen Waverley. Hook, Line & Sinker, we assume is in stark contrast to the original shop, with a modern take on the take away experience featuring exposed brick, plasma TVs, communal and al-fresco tables, beer on tap and healthier options on offer, as well as your stand fish’n'chip shop grub. We opted for the burger with the lot featuring beef, lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, bacon & egg.

“On paper I should not have liked this burger. It had a flour covered bun and the thin beef patty was burnt to a crisp however, I kind of enjoyed it. Although it was a thin piece of beef that had spent too long on the plate, it had a really nice charred flavour to it and didn’t go too rubbery. The other ingredients were exactly stock standard what you would expect but, for what you pay, its not bad value. An interesting layout and venue, and hey, I think a bar in every fish’n'chip shop is the way to go.”

“This place was a bit confusing. It felt and looked like a Fish’n’Chip shop, but had a pub-like menu to it. Throw in the fact that they had Carlton Draught on tap and I was going to give this place a fantastic rating, purely that it was something different. As always whenever I get too ahead of my self, Jah throws you a life lesson. In this instance it was the burger. The pattie didn’t have much seasoning, the bacon was OK, I couldn’t taste the onion in it and the whole thing needed sauce. When you narrow down it basically comes down to two factors that really make a burger: a burger will usually either be sweet or salty, sometimes it can be both. Unfortunately this burger played Switzerland and just annoyed the shit out of me. It was a shame because I really wanted to like it. The chips were average.”

“It was one of those nights where you step outside and swear; damn it was cold. So to my delight, with an excellent spot under the split-system blowing warm air, the footy playing right in front of us and a burger on its way, it was almost a perfect start to the night. The burger was placed before us and yes, I was a little excited – I mean it looked the business. But biting in left me unsatisfied, like some sort of wooden legged street worker named Darlene who’s just doing it to pay for acting lessons. The cheese wasn’t melted, the pattie was just a bit of salt and charr and the onions weren’t juicy like I had hoped they’d be. Yes, there was the odd bite or two I where experienced squirts of flavour and joy, but overall it didn’t take me anywhere near climax.”

Located on a suburban street that looks like it’s stuck in the 70’s, Burger Boss is one of the few modern shops that is injecting some new life into the area. Having only recently opened their doors, Burger Boss is a place where for $4.40 (YES only $4.40!), you can get a Cheese Burger with all the necessary trimmings. They also pump out 6 types of burgers along with a BLT and a Sloppy Joe. With limited seating for eating-in, this place is more of a “call-in and pick up your order” joint. But, for those slightly less motivated individuals who really don’t want to battle the elements for picking up dinner, you’ll be glad to hear that Burger Boss also does home deliveries. The staff are laid back, friendly and every burger is made to order, allowing your mind to wonder and dream of beef, bacon and burger goodness whilst you wait. We went for the Big Boss that came on a simple hamburger bun with one 100% beef pattie, bacon, egg, cheddar cheese, grilled onions, lettuce, fresh tomato, pickles, American mustard and tomato sauce.

“I love egg on a burger, I love mustard on a burger and, I’ve grown to love pickle on my burger. However, I dont think I’ve had all 3 on a burger before, and the reason why is: it doesn’t work. The egg adds a really creamy and soft texture which, is in stark contrast to the sharp bite of the pickle and mustard that all combined make for a strange taste. The beef was chopped, packed really fine and was cooked a little too long making it quite tough and chewy. On a really positive note, they served up possibly the best onion rings I’ve ever had and I would possibly consider coming back just for them.”

“This burger could of been a contender, I mean it! When the thing you specialise in is primarily burgers, you should have that knock-out factor. The burger had everything I love in burgers – pickles, mustard, bacon, onion and, oddly enough it was a forgettable burger. The pattie was OK, with an alright amount of seasoning, but probably lacked some vital fat flavours to really give it any edge. The bun was the most disappointing part to it; it tasted and felt ordinary (like a supermarket bun) leaving me shattered. This burger really has potential, and I only suspect maybe because it’s still early days the lovely gents at Burger Boss will nail this burger in the time to come. The fries were good and with the extra Boss Sauce for dipping, got even better.”

“In a nutshell, the burger reeked of blandness. It brought many promises to the table but really didn’t deliver any of them. It’s sad for me to say, but the most dominant taste was carbon. The bacon was slightly over done and the bun was left on the grill for too long. They have this stuff called Boss Sauce (I paid extra for it to dip into my chips), and in my opinion it should come standard in their signature, “Boss Burger”. It would at least give them a point of difference and create an iconic flavour for their shop (refer to Grill’d Herb Mayonnaise and all the maniacs in love with it if you doubt me). I did thieve an onion ring or two from D and yes, they were damn good. Because they’ve only recently opened we should cut them some slack, but at least from now the only way is up baby.”

Beer DeLuxe Hamburger Bar – Fed Square, Cnr Swanston & Flinders St, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Just outside the historic icon that is Flinders St Station sits Melbourne’s favourite eyesore: Federation Square. But with a quick push and shove past all of the 12 year olds, the tourists and day trippers, and you’ll stumble upon Beer DeLuxe and it’s Hamburger Bar. First and foremost, these guys are all about the Amber Liquid. They pride themselves on having a forever evolving Beer Bible that showcases beers from all over Australia and the world. So what do we all know that goes splendidly with beer? Burgers! With their very own dedicated Hamburger Bar that on a Thursday night offers a Burger, Chips and Beer for $9.50, I just couldn’t turn it down. I ordered the Burger DeLuxe that came on a toasted hamburger bun with 2 handmade beef patties, lettuce, bacon, onion, cheese and a touch of American mustard. Plus a side of chips and beer of course.

“Having received a number of emails and Facebook comments about this place, I decided to grab my camera, some local cool-cats and head down to Beer DeLuxe for a Thursday evening burger session. Talk about value right? For that $9.50 price tag it pretty much turns the rest of the game on its head. Once ordered, it practically flew out of the kitchen – I’m saying 2 minutes tops!? The burger itself was crazy simple. Highlights included the sheer size of this sucker, delicious fried onions and one of the most perfect amounts of lettuce I’ve seen in a burger: bare minimum. Although hand made, the patties didn’t taste of the highest quality, needing more fat through the mince to give them that melt-in-your-mouth awesomeness. To add to that, the burger was way too dry. Whether this be to encourage patrons to drink more beer, I don’t know? But c’mon guys, sauce these bad boys up. No brownie points either for unmelted cheese (that should’ve been double if you’re using 2 patties anyway). If I were to go back I’d spend the coin and throw in the extras adding more cheese, tomato, mayonnaise and egg to the mix. Without these additions it regrettably gets into the Don’t Expect Much category. But if you’re passing through one Thursday night I suggest you spend the extra $3 and give it a crack. There’s honestly some potential here.”