BBB is a rough and rustic burger joint, done in typical eclectic Brunswick style. It has a chilled out vibe with an anything goes fit out; all sorts of doors hanging on the walls and you’ll be hard pressed to find a matching table and chair set. Claiming to do things a little differently and positioning themselves as a bit of an anti-establishment take-away joint, they place a huge importance on sourcing local ingredients and believe in big servings that don’t break the bank. This of course, is all served in a casual and friendly way that aims to puts a smile on your face. On a cool Sunday evening we decided to order The Big Buzz burger that came on a home made sourdough bun with a 150gram beef patty (menu says it’s a double but ours came out with a single patty for some reason), tasty cheese, bacon, eggs, beetroot, lettuce and tomato.

“If you’re after your typical Fish’n’Chip shop style burger with a bigger and better patty, this burger is for you. Instead of being wrapped inside a brown paper bag, it was presented tall with a skewer through the middle. However aside from that, everything else was fairly stock-standard. The thick beef patty was cooked well and as with most things, if it’s covered in egg and bacon, it’s going to taste pretty good. Nothing unexpected and will definitely leave you full but with a slightly heftier price tag than similar options in the area.”

“This is Brunswick’s way of doing Grill’d; well, that’s the way I see it. The difference being, Burger Buzz does it in a way Sydney Road locals could be proud to eat in and feel they’re supporting a local hero. The burger itself was basic and ticked all the boxes in my book. This burger felt like a fish & chip burger that was done right with delicious bacon, a thick patty and a well made sourdough bun. Overall I thought the burger was tasty and juicy, but it wouldn’t be a burger I’d travel more than a suburb for. Chips were good and with a free Mountain Goat beer on offer for every burger bought its a damn good deal.”

“There was such a mash of flavours it was hard to know where the bacon started and beetroot ended. It was big and juicy, a touch salty but there was no real character. It’d be hard to pick out of a blind taste test, not that it was awful, but even McDonald’s has a signature flavour or two. The best thing this place has going for it is its meal deals. A free beer with your burger is always going to keep the place full of fashionable flannel.”

Standing tall on the corner of William and Malvern roads since 1849, the Bush Inn was once the place to meet your friends and family as you returned from the city on your horse and cart. With a refurbished dining room and a new menu devoted to the art of steak, this old world, family friendly restaurant is busy looking to reaffirm itself as the place to eat in Toorak. Dark wood, leather and maroon carpet give the place a cosy but sophisticated air. Although steaks are their bread and butter, they do offer a variety of other pub favourites like a parma, a chicken pot pie and fish and chips. Delivered to us by some very friendly staff we ordered the Beef Burger that came on a brioche bun with a beef pattie, bacon, egg, cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles and a side of chips and onion rings.

“This burger had everything you would expect from a big gourmet burger with the lot. However, I don’t think much thought and effort went into it. They didn’t even bother listing the ingredients on the menu. The beef was tasty but with everything else so rich, flavoursome and in the wrong proportions, they overpowered the pattie. This accompanied with the sweet brioche bun made it very difficult to even finish. I’m also ashamed to admit that I had to leave some onion rings on the plate.”

“The menu lists the burger as having The Lot included. Sure, its a nice idea but it just didn’t work here. There was so much going on that I really had a tough time enjoying it. It fell apart pretty damn quick, it lacked salt and, any real character for that matter. If you were hooked up with this burger on a blind date you’d be out the bathroom window quicker than you can say “vegetarian option”. It cost a lot of money so you expect quality. It looks like this meal is built to satisfy your hunger more than your taste buds. Sad, but true.”

From the outside it’s basically your standard Melbourne pub. Step past the bouncers inside and we urge you to attempt to know where to go. You’re first greeted with a Parisian alley way – balconies above you as you walk past. There are dining areas all around with stairs leading to god knows where and a traditional pub bar on your left. Call it an adventure, call it confusing. Or, just call over a staff member and get yourself a seat. Refurbished by Justin Northrop of Techne Architects in 2011, the Bridge Hotel is a 100-year-old building that has been known to get quite crowded – so get in early on a Saturday. They boast a pretty extensive pub menu with some modern twists on some classics as well as a cosy roast served every Sunday for $19. Having witnessed a few come out of the kitchen already, we braced ourselves and ordered their Black Angus Beef Burger that comes with bacon, egg, caramelised onion, lettuce, tomato, beetroot, cheese, relish & ailoi with beer battered chips.

“I had to seriously squish this burger down to have an even remote chance of taking an even bite out of it. Had I of taken the skewer out the whole thing would of completely fallen apart. The fact that it was so big meant some bites you got nothing but cold and crunchy lettuce, tomato and beetroot. Other times it was a bunch of flour from the bun and some egg and bacon that reminded me of a breakfast roll (not having a go at breakfast rolls, it just wasn’t breakfast time). The highlight of the burger was the beefy angus pattie and the crispy caramelised onions however, they didn’t outweigh the difficultness of consuming this burger.”

“I’ll give them points for effort and drama because it did make me think, “How the hell am I meant to eat this?” If there wasn’t a skewer involved you’d just have a pile of ingredients. It was almost like a shishkebab version of a burger. You would’nt exactly say that it was bad or anything. It was OK at best. Saying that I was glad not to eat brioche again (the epidemic that seems to be striking Melbourne). The pattie was rather light and fluffy, but didnt have any beefy kick to it. It was more rissoley than anything. The highlight I must say were the blackened pickled/ caramelised onions. Their sweetness stood out in this, neither here nor there burger.”

A diner like feel blended with the low lit cool-school-NYC restaurant/bar makes the Brother Burger and The Marvellous Brew one of the smartest new joints going around. Not even a month old and already getting a reputation around Melbourne, we had to hit it and see what it was all about. Greeting you upon entry is what feels like a never ending bar/communal table that invites you to sit and partake in a meal with the locals. Mostly, it’s a cool place to sit back, have a bite and a drink, and who knows you might even catch the gaze of the the chef and sweet-talk the man helping you create your own monster burger (we do not actually recommended this as most chefs will stab you for bastardising their pride and joys). So, with a good combination of burgers and other delectable bar foods you will definitely find something to satisfy that salt-tooth of yours. After some deliberation we went for The Lot that came on a sesame seed bun with a beef pattie, bacon, cheese, pineapple, lettuce, pickles, onion, mayo and “sauce”.

“The first emotion I felt was confusion, as when we arrived the front of the place was actually closed. Then I felt joy and recalled fond memories as I saw a neon sign that looked very similar to a very famous burger sign in New York City. Finally I felt visually impaired, as it was so dark in there I couldnt see shit. I’ve tried very hard to try and like pineapple in a burger as it pops up on a lot of menus around Australia. But still no luck, as I just dont like it. Its just too sweet and too overpowering flavour wise. After a few bites i tossed it and focused on the proper ingredients. The bun was super soft and tasted great however, did nothing to keep everything together and made a huge mess. The beef was a good thickness and was cooked well. There was perfectly melted cheese and the crispy bacon tasted great but only after the pineapple was removed.”

“For me the place didn’t really scream “we do burgers” (apart from the neon sign). It was more like a “bring your girlfriend and spend some cash” kind of place. Sure, there was still the diner feel to it, but it really did look quite sophisticated. I was never convinced we were going to get burgers from this kitchen and expected to be served a duck l’orange worth $45. Though when you open the menu you instantly notice that its all about burgers and a good blend of Australian bar food. The Lot does come with pineapple, which I’m not a huge fan of, but it is needed as I found the burger did lack some flavour, which pineapple help compensate for. I found the pattie a bit bland and the bun and fries were OK. The small plates the burgers are served on really annoyed me. Personal peev I know, but the plates are too small and you need a little bit more dish diameter to cover off spillage from the burger. On a side note I did find the Ginger Ale a bit weak and watered down, but hey it happens.”

“It’s not often you eat a burger and the pineapple is the highlight. But that’s only because the rest of this burger was kind of boring; disappointing when you’re forking out $17. I’ll give the meat credit for being supremely beefy but it needed to be salted and spiced a bit more. I enjoyed the pickle which was was nicely spiced and I wanted a whole lote more from the egg – more creaminess and more ooze. This thing didn’t commit a lot of serious crimes against the burger community, but most of the ingredients just didn’t turn up to the party like the pineapple did. Saying all that I’d still probably give that spicy burger on their menu a go.”

Formerly owned by Essendon FC captain and current coach James Hird, Red Mullet is a great alternative if your wanting to sit down and enjoy your classic fish’n’chip meal with a glass of red. As expected Red Mullet offers a large range of seafood, but they even go as far as tackling the less traditional fish’n’chip shop meals like paella and a variety of curries. You’ll also be able to purchase pre-marinated fish that those wanabe Masterchef’s can take home and cook for themselves. When it comes to hamburgers there are a bunch to choose from, with two fish, a veggie and of course the classic Lot Burger. We went in with an appetite and chose the Lot Burger consisting of a beef pattie, egg, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato and onion.

“I’ve got to say this is a really appealing burger to look at – all stacked neatly with just enough of a view of each ingredient poking out. For me, the standout for this burger though was the bun. It was really dense, tasty and kept everything together. The beef was a good size and had been cooked well. And, with the egg, bacon and cheese on top, it could do no wrong.”

“I’ve got this belief in life that when you go to a specialty seafood restaurant/Fish’ n’ Chippery, and request a burger, your chances of a good burger are automatically reduced to 50/50. So how was this experience (or adventure)? Well, I would say pleasant. The pattie was nothing special, but was cooked well and did taste OK. The bun reminded me of memory foam. I say that because you would find your finger indentation staying there once pressed into the bun, no bounce back at all! I found that the burger did need some sauce, but overall it was a good filling meal and the chips were ok too. Next time I would try the calamari.”

“This burger was neither here nor there. I really didn’t think much of it. The bun was nice and so were most of the condiments. But really it was a forgettable meal. For a burger packed with a whole lot of ingredients it really was “meh”. But at the same time, it didn’t exactly kick me in the nuts. ”

The Burger Shop – 195 Carlisle Street, Balaclava, Victoria, Australia

A welcoming and basic burger bar. Nothing flashy, no gimmicks – just burgers. How can you go wrong with that? On a summer’s night, the seat of the house is definitely a barstool by the window. This makes for some excellent people watching as well as hopefully catching some of that light summer breeze that floats in and out the door. We managed to grab a couple of small tables and watched as the cook made us “Lot” burgers with lettuce, tomato, caramelised onion, egg (free range), bacon, home-made beef pattie and tomato sauce.

“This place feels like it started off as a Fish n Chip shop and after a while they couldn’t be bothered with the fish, so they stuck with doing burgers… very good burgers that is. There was nothing fancy or out of the ordinary, just a solid burger done well.”

“No big surprises here. This place made a tasty and moist burger; and there was nothing pretentious about it. I thought the pattie was appetising, and the bacon and cheese were good. If I had to change anything I would recommend better quality lettuce, without using the vain of the leaf. But again, I’m just being picky. It was all still pretty good. After I grabbed a Coke from the fridge, I did notice one thing that I wish I had seen earlier on the menu: “Milkshake and Thickshakes made with real ice-cream and milk”. Amen to that. Chips weren’t memorable.”

“I don’t know if this was a complete fluke (because I really wasn’t expecting it), but this happened to be one of the most balanced, and well proportioned hamburgers I’ve had in Melbourne. Individual flavours were almost seamless, like someone had baked some sort of awesome salty hamburger cake. Deconstructed, the pattie remained humble and wasn’t over seasoned – allowing beef and salt to be its main flavours. The egg, bacon and cheese were creamy and really enjoyable. My only qualm would be the garlic aioli I had as a dipping sauce. I love garlic, but I hate having my taste-buds beaten by it. Overall, I walked away just a little bit impressed.”

Hunky Dory – 181 Bay St, Port Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

A very modern and sleek looking Fish and Burger Bar with both take-away and dine-in options. This place is ideal for summer with plenty of people watching when you sit outside and then in the cooler months, jump back in and grab yourself a spot inside under a heater. The Lot burger consisted of a beef pattie with cheddar cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, egg and cooked onion all on a sesame seed bun. Those readers from Melbourne, keep an eye out for new locations opening up on Chapel st and Clarendon St.

“I think its a bit cheeky to call themselves a Burger Bar considering there are only 2 beef burgers to choose from: Plain and The Lot. For the price its good value for money. The mince was loosely packed and crumbly, nice, but I had to add ketchup. We checked them out on a Sunday night and it was really busy. Chances are it’ll only get busier in the warmer months to come.”

“There’s nothing better in Melbourne than a balmy Sunday evening and having enough daylight at 7pm to still go outside and enjoy a good Fish’ n’ Chip Burger in Port Melbourne. I can’t say this burger blew me away, but I don’t think it had to. It just had to fill me up and be simple. It did what it was suppose to do and that was enough for me. The pattie, bun, egg, lettuce and bacon were good. The only thing that I wasn’t impressed with was the chips.”

“There’s not too much to say about this one. It was very “meh” and really, nothing special. So, like the guys have said, it didn’t commit any crimes, but it won’t be winning any awards either. Very safely played by the chefs. What astounds me still is how busy they were. I’ll only assume this is a mix of a good location, decent fish and some seriously big breasts behind the counter.”