Middle Brighton Baths

Thursday, December 11, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-MiddleBrighton

Middle Brighton Baths – 251 The Esplanade, Brighton,
Victoria, Australia
Burger:
The Baths Burger
Serviettes:
2
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
5 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t bother
Price:
$22
Summary

Brighton Baths have been around since 1881 and although originally just a recreation centre over the years they’ve turned into a multi trick pony. The Baths are a place for weddings, dinner with the family or a just coffee when your neck-deep in lycra. The venue is a great place for locals and tourists alike to see Melbourne’s beautiful, however mostly hazy, cityscape. The Baths are split into two with a more fancy restaurant upstairs and a cafe/bar downstairs. The cafe menu is a little simpler and cheaper but aims to please most people with things like a classic bowl of wedges to Spaghetti Marinara. Sitting across from Ricky Ponting one fine Sunday, we ordered the Baths Burger that came with a beef patty, traditional seeded bun, lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickled cucumber and chipotle mayo.

Comments
“There aren’t many better views in Melbourne while enjoying a sunny Sunday lunch, made even better by dining alongside Australian legend and former Test captain Ricky Ponting and his family. Unfortunately the burger didn’t live up to the same standards as the view and guests, it honestly looked and tasted like something bought from the local supermarket with a chipotle mayo added, which is fine if you’re cooking at home or a bbq, however not when paying $22 for it.”
“I found my pattie tasteless and a bit rubbery. The only highlight was the chipotle mayo which added some pepperness to what was a bland burger. The bun, cheese and pickle where all doing there part but it’s pretty much a supermarket burger. Heaps of room for improvement here.”
“This wasn’t good at all. From the bun to the lettuce. It was all store bought, but you could make it better at home. The patty was salty and looked like it had been shaped in a production line. The cheese only began to melt when my hands gripped the enormous bun. For the 22 bucks it was totally not worth it. The highlight was chipotle mayo, if any.”
Middle Brighton Baths - Cafe & Bar Ground Floor on Urbanspoon


Big Mouth

Sunday, August 24, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-BigMouth

Big Mouth – 168 Acland St, St Kilda, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Big Mouth Burger
Serviettes:
2
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
15 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in area
Price:
$21
Summary

They probably read about it in Lonely Planet, but there’s good reason tourists flock to St Kilda all year round. They might deter some of the more “refined” Melbournians, but chances are most of us, at one point or another have taken a stroll down Acland St for a drink or bite to eat. Sitting at the top of the busy street is an Big Mouth. The Art Deco building has played very different roles since its opening in 1938: a second hand furniture store, a cabaret, a band room, reception centre, Russian ball room and a wax museum. But now, as it stands the bar/restaurant/nightclub caters for all kinds of folk, whether its for a big night or a big steak. We sat in one of their dining rooms and ordered the Big Mouth Burger that came with an Angus pattie, Monterey Jack, sweet pickles, pickled onion, chipotle aioli & fries.

Comments
“I really didn’t enjoy this burger experience, it was hard work with some overbearing flavours and texture. First of all it’s an extremely dark restaurant, which isn’t helped when the burger is served on a long skinny plank of wood added to the challenge. The bun was a very crusty, dry kaiser roll, with very little give in it, creating a giant crumbly mess, which didn’t pair very well with the domineering sweet pickles and pickled onions. The beef patty, when eaten on its own was delicious and juicy, however with nothing to absorb and trap the flavour in, just ended up adding to the mess.”
“The patty was cooked OK however it did taste a bit garlicky for my liking, but with the ever so creamy combination of Jack cheese and mayo it quickly regained points in my book. Looking at all the other burgers my burger comrades ordered it seemed that the kitchen was having an inconsistent night. As much as I liked the bun I really could have done with less bread in my diet that day. Rather than including the greens in my burger and just saved them later for a fresher-upped for the palette.”
“On paper this was right up my alley. It came out deconstructed and I wasn’t sure what for: pure laziness or they wanted to add as much greenery as you like. I went for none of that. There were great hints of creaminess and plenty of crunch from the crusty kaiser. It was hard to tell where it was actually coming from but garlic was apparent all around this burger. It was great. Not over powering or anything, it just lingered around. The patty was soft and salty and the chipotle aoili rounded out each bite with some spice. The pickled onions also provided a nice tang and I’m glad weren’t of the Zuni variety for a change. I think I really liked this burger. I reckon 21 bucks was a smidge steep though (mainly because of lack of chips).”
Big Mouth on Urbanspoon


Chur Burger

Monday, July 28, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-ChurrBurger

Chur Burger – 48 Albion Street,
Surry Hills, New South Wales, Australia
Burger:
Beef Burger
Serviettes:
1
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
7 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in the area
Price:
$10
Summary

If you’re unfamiliar with native New-Zealand-ish then “Chur” is just another made up word that you and your friends will argue about, end up on Google, then call your favourite NZ buddy to confirm. You see, Warren Turnbull, former fine dining chef, is a NZer and the only way he wanted to describe the mouth-watering burgers he was creating was “Chur!”. What us Aussie’smight call “Ripper”. After a fire in the original hole in the wall burger joint that was Chur Burger, he set up shop in Surry Hills in a larger space offering a larger selection of burgers, chips and “drank”. He has seen so much success for his burgers that there are now four Sydney locations and another opening up pretty soon in Brisbane. Collaborating with fellow countryman and designer, Scrap Wall, their Surry Hills location seats plenty, has a bit of a found/industrial art vibe to and is the kind of place you can spill a drink and noone will bat an eye. They do milkshakes, fries and a bunch of different burgers that cater for all walks of life. Cooked medium-rare, I went for the classic Beef Burger that came on a brioche bun with a beef patty, cheese, tomato jam, mustard mayo, pickle – simple.

Comments
“I’ll admit it. I’m one of those contrarians that hates hype. And, from the countless emails we’ve received, there was plenty of hype about Chur. I was in Sydney on a tight schedule and I knew I had to make my way round to see what all the fuss was about. Their brioche bun wasn’t overly sweet (which is a nice change) but I would’ve preferred something a little softer. As I bit in to the patty I noticed it was nice and fatty, but with bits of gristle in it I started to fall less in love with it. Having read that they served medium rare as a standard I was let down by the grey pattie that had been left on the grill a little too long. Halfway down something happened. The burger changed. This was the delicious pink I was looking for. It stepped up so quickly. Why was it so uneven though? If you’re a regular here you’ll know that I’m keen as mustard for mayonnaise in a burger, but this was overkill. I feel like Chur Burger started out as this delicious burger joint where tender love and care were put into making every single burger a work of art. Now with the popularity and expansion I imagine it’s harder to control the quality (as we’ve seen in other Melbourne burger joints). The framework of an stand-out burger is still there. It was just missing the key ingredient: love (single tear).”
Chur Burger on Urbanspoon


Panned Pizza

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-PannedPizza

Panned Pizza – 189 Bourke St, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Juicy Lucy
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
15 minutes
Would we recommend:
Don’t expect much
Price:
$14
Summary

Some of the finest chefs and restauranteurs call Melbourne’s CBD home. Their restaurants are usually choc-full, booked out and most of the time break the bank. Panned Pizza is not one of these type of venues. Unless of course it’s a Saturday night and the party bus has pulled up around the corner. But, Panned Pizza isn’t trying to be anything fancy. They’re mission is to feed the hungry drunk people that stumble in the early hours of the morning with some American-style comfort food. We were enticed by the fact that these guys serve up the Minneapolis icon that is the Juicy Lucy – a burger that comes with a patty stuffed with cheese. This is the first of its kind we’ve ever encountered in Melbourne so we were excited to say the least. So there we sat: four dudes in a brightly lit Pizza parlour waiting on some Juicy Lucys. They came out on a brioche bun with a massive 220g wagyu beef patty filled with double Monterey Jack cheese in the centre, crispy lettuce, ripe tomato slices, caramelised onions, tomato sauce, American mustard and mayo.

Comments
“As someone who has watched an unhealthy amount of American food shows, I had inevitably heard of the Jucy/Juicy Lucy burger. After we asked what cheese was in the burger, the utter confusion from behind the counter made me wonder if we were the first sober people to actually order this burger in Melbourne. It didn’t look anything like its American counterpart, be it covered in grilled onions, lettuce and tomato and, it was a good couple of bites until I reached the cheesy centre. As you’d expect, the beef was cooked right through to melt the cheese so it was left a little dry. However, the triple combo of ketchup, mayo and mustard helped mask the bland beef flavour.”
“I think for a place that predominantly specialises in pizza they make a better pizza, but hell you have to appreciate their effort at a Juicy Lucy. There was a good amount of cheese in and around the double pattie. The pattie was a tad bit dry and the bun held it’s integrity withstanding oozy cheese and mayo. The mustard really cut through the burger considering the amount of grease it had in it and the chips were substantial. I’d advise maybe skipping a meal before going.”
“Walking in I had no idea what to expect. The staff had no idea either to be honest. The burger wasn’t bad. But it was all a gimmick. I don’t think it would’ve made a difference whether or not the cheese was inside or on top of the patty because it kind of just sat there unappealing-like (instead of oozing out like the prophecies had predicted). Things I noticed most were the the onions as a highlight and, that the beef was pretty tightly packed (to hold the cheese in imagine). It wasn’t an all together great first Juicy Lucy experience but I’m sure after a box of wine and a night out it’d be super.”
Panned Pizza on Urbanspoon


South Melbourne Trader

Monday, March 31, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-SthMelbTrader

South Melbourne Trader – 111 Cecil St,
South Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Wagyu burger
Serviettes:
2
Dress Code:
Smart Casual
Sleepiness:
20 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in the area
Price:
$15.90
Summary

The South Melbourne Trader is one of those contemporary pub venues that’s built to cater for all sorts of crowds, from the big lunch time work crowds on a Friday, to the modern family who’s not in the particular mood to cook. Located only 2 minutes’ walk from the South Melbourne Markets this place has done well to build a local following in an area with plenty of old time pubs on offer. Former Rockpool Bar & Grill chef Johnon MacDonald has brought his knowledge to SMT and put together a quality Wagyu burger at an affordable price. It arrived on a brioche bun with a Wagyu pattie, house made pickles, lettuce, tomato, mayo, Jamaican Jerk and hand cut chips.

Comments
“At first bite, several of the distinct flavours made be double guess whether or not I’d actually eaten this burger before. Once I lifted up the top bun and the bright pink pickled onions stared back at me, revealing the uncanny similarities between this and the Wagyu burger at Rockpool. The brioche bun combined with all the pickled vegetables and Jamaican Jerk sauce unfortunately overpowered the beef patty, which was cooked a little longer than ideal. However, when tasted on its own had great flavour.”
“The burger had a very tasty pattie with the right level of moisture in it and at the perfect thickness. The bun did get a bit mushy towards the end, but it made the distance, so no real complaints. There was minimal green stuff on offer, but they were very generous on the mayo. For a lunch time option I think it’s slightly on the heavy side, but that’s what long Friday lunches are for. Chips were average.”
“I’m normally the kind of guy to put more mayo on top of mayo. But this experience was even too creamy for me. The Rockpool on a budget burger still had really good moments. It makes sense for them to copy its greatness as not every one has had the pleasure of visiting Neil Perry’s fine establishment. The beef was by far the standout with a nice beefy charr to it, but it needed to be heroed more. All the sauces and onions stole its limelight. It looked small, but the sleepiness that hung around afterwards was enough to make me think about pulling over on my drive home. Pretty good but I’d go the original (and pay for it) any day of the week.”
The South Melbourne Trader on Urbanspoon


Royale Brothers

Thursday, February 27, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-RoyaleBrothers

Royale Brothers – Rear 1 Church Street, Brighton,
Victoria, Australia
Burger:
Royale with Cheese
Serviettes:
3
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
11 minutes
Would we recommend:
Definitely
Price:
$12
Summary

When you read this next bit, try and say it in a posh accent – “Brighton darling”. Now you’re ready to mix it with the snooty Range Rover driving bayside dweller. But as of the start of 2014, there’s a chance the accent might get a tweak. With Royale Brothers setting up shop in the neighbourhood there’ll be more than one Average Joe popping by to get their meat fix. Brought to you by the folks that introduced Melbourne to the Portsea Polo and Sydney to Hugos, Royale Brothers is surely going to have the masses knocking on their door in no time. We placed our order from the tiny counter and waited for our flashing buzzer device to ring. Sitting on some limited seating outside, our burger of choice was their Royale with Cheese that came with a Milk Bun, Beef, cheese, onion, lettuce, pickles, mustard, mayo & Royale sauce.

Comments
“Simple things amuse simple minds, so the excitement and anticipation of the buzzer buzzing all over the table had me reminiscent of a young child awaiting Christmas morning. Once finally buzzed, it’s as if I had won a prize. Like all good presents, this one had grease leaking all over the wax paper, making it transparent and revealing a glorious mess of a burger. You couldn’t pull this thing apart if you tried. Everything was melted and bound together with each bite encompassing every vital flavour. From the salty, crumbly and charred patty, the gooey yellow cheese, combo of sauces and a slight and subtle crunch from the lettuce, pickle and onion. I absolutely loved it and couldn’t think of anyway of improving it.”
“You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? …Royale with Cheese”. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system I can give you my impression of the burger. Royale Brother’s burger is by no means a Quarter Pounder. In fact if they ever faced off the big corporate Quarter Pounder, it would get it’s ass handed to it by this very simple, fresh and affordable burger. The fresh bun held the delicious moist pattie well with no soggy structural issues to worry about. The mayo and cheese combined well and the pickle added some great tang, but not as crunchy as I would have liked. The chips were a bit average, however the burger is that good that it kind of makes up for it. Definitely going back!”
“This impressed me right away. The cheese took me back to my days of opening up happy meals after a victorious soccer game; stuck to the sides of the wax paper all gooey and awesome. The first bite was soft, sweet at times, but most importantly, creamy and beefy. The balance was pretty damn good here; across all flavours. They left things just greasy enough as to nod to tradition but then the fluffiness of the bun talked to my über fancy botox side. Anything I would do different next time? I’d probably add some bacon, or for the fun of it, add another pattie. This is one of Bayside’s best.”
The Royale Brothers on Urbanspoon


Humburger

Friday, February 7, 2014
The_Burger_Adventure-Humburger

Humburger – 789 Glenferrie Rd, Hawthorn, Victoria, Australia
Burger:
New York
Serviettes:
4
Dress Code:
Casual
Sleepiness:
20 minutes
Would we recommend:
If you’re in the area
Price:
$13
Summary

Located towards the northern end of the Glenferrie Rd shopping strip, Humburger recently opened with a contemporary, modern interior fit out featuring exposed white bricks, cow hide stools, neon lights and mirrors. With ample dining options including inside, outside and courtyard seating, it’s an ideal place to grab a bite to eat regardless of time or weather. With 5 different beef burgers, a chicken and a vegetarian on offer, there’s a burger to suit everyones taste. We went with the ‘New York’ burger with 2 beef patties, bacon, cheddar cheese, Emmental cheese, pickles, mayo and tomato sauce. You can wash it all down with either something alcoholic or a milk shake, and if you’re still not full by the end, the humballs are delicious for dessert.

Comments
“I’m surprised this didn’t fall over by the time it reached us, as it was delicately placed together with everything neatly piled high. What looked like something that would turn into an incredible mess, actually squashed down into something manageable, with plenty of juice squirting all over my strategically placed fries. The beef was a lot more tender than I expected and with 2 patties there was plenty of beefy flavour, with subtle hints of pickle and salty bacon coming through. The bun held up well for a while but had almost disappeared by the end.”
“Humburger feels a little more like more of a bar than a burger joint. Walking up to the counter the friendly staff look like hipster bartenders that will mix you a good drink, but surprisingly they are only interested in your burger order. The pattie was beautifully cooked and just crumbled in my mouth. The sweet bun was fresh and a delight to bite into. The other highlight was the exquisite bacon and the super runny cheese that reminded of the kind you’d get on a pizza. The burger was a little hard to manage but the payload is good, so persevere with the juice going down your hands and enjoy yourself.”
“This was a delicious start to 2014 for me. The first bite was initially soft and fluffy, but by the time I bit all the way in, I was chewing fresh crunchy pickles. The patties were cooked just a little bit pink and felt like the mince had been ground with a fine mincer – they were tightly bound, but it still worked for them. A nice sweeteness lingered during the meal; I can only imagine that the majority came from thee sauce and grilled onions. This is a very simple burger that’s really worth while. Best option in the area for sure.”
Humburger on Urbanspoon