Down away from Port Melbourne’s main drag lies a café that you’re either going to say is breaking down barriers or just a little bit indecisive. Like many of the other internet dudes that take photos of their meals with oversized cameras, we were sent a few emails inviting us to come down and check out the menu. After gracefully declining (as we always do) we popped in on our own accord, primarily out of curiosity as to how a Russian/American menu, cooked by a Japanese Chef would work out. Even though you’ll find Blinztes to BBQ ribs on the menu, the desire to serve nothing but premium quality food is at the forefront of owner Greg and Inga’s minds. After being greeted by some super friendly staff we ordered the Gourmet Burger that came with porterhouse mince, spice, fetta and sun-dried tomato pattie on a bed of basil mayo in a brioche bun plus lettuce and tomato.

“I thought I would tackle this behemoth by cutting it in half; a decision I immediately regretted as the whole thing ended up looking like I’d just punched it, with ingredients splattered everywhere. I’m never a fan of any beef patty that’s been prepared earlier and seasoned with anything more than salt and pepper, and similarly, this thing just crumbled to pieces, with only small amounts sticking together by being burnt. The bun was burnt, which added another strong over-powering flavour and texture to compete with all the other big, bold flavours. Had everything been toned down a little bit it could be quiet enjoyable.”

“A nice smokey burger with some intense salty flavours like fetta and sundried tomato. The pattie and bun were huge and the burger was hard to control with all that slipperiness caused by a healthy serve of mayo and lettuce (a lot of lettuce!). The potatoes were perfectly cooked and well seasoned. I don’t mind the owners of Third Wave doing a burger a bit differently, but having seen how their BBQ dishes were coming out I would encourage them to give a classic a go.”

“Interestingly enough, for $19, this burger came with no chips. There weren’t even chips on the menu. I thought that this was going to upset me. However, the burger alone was plenty to get you full. Just like a lot of my basketball idols (Thunder Up!), it was tall and rich. Then and there I couldn’t work out if I liked it or not. There were moments filled with sweet creamy goodness from the lashings of Russian basil mayo. But because of this, it created a burger you just couldn’t keep your hands on; seeing D trying to deal with his was hilarious. The spices, fetta and sundried tomatoes added to the pattie didn’t help it’s structural integrity but did make for a soft, tasty pattie. If you’re looking for a less traditional style of hamburger – and want to splash some cash – then you could give this a try. Just maybe avoid wearing a white shirt.”