Mr Scruff’s – 60 Smith St, Collingwood, Victoria, Australia

“Seeing a burger in Melbourne under $10 is becoming a rare occurrence nowadays so we figured it must be pretty small; how wrong we were. Not that I’m complaining, but a single patty would more than suffice. The beef was super juicy with a nice crumble to it, which the creamy cheese managed to intertwine with perfectly. A really great crunch and sharp flavour was provided by the pickle and onion with the ‘Scruffs Special Sauce’ complimenting everything really well and, the Brioche bun did its best to hold on until the end. For the price, this has to be one of the best value burgers in Melbourne at the moment.”

“Walking into the place I really didn’t know what to expect. What looked like a trendy/hipster bar with no kitchen in site and food aroma in the air I thought maybe we were going for some pre-burger drinks. That was not the case. What I was greeted with was a great tasting, juicy patty with heaps of melted cheese, mayo and a lovely addition of pickles. The lettuce and all that green stuff was kept at a minimum. I felt compelled to add another pattie for an extra $2. Overall it was a great value burger, even if you wanted to go for a single pattie. Chips were more’ish.”

“We opted for the double. Why not right? For 11$ we figured it would’ve been on the smaller side. Wrong. It was so soft when I bit in. The cheese was ridiculous and the patty was pink and juicy. Damnit, every bite was really was good. There was a Big Macness that I liked but the pickles I think, didn’t need to be so fancy. Straight up Maccas pickles would’ve been just fine. The bun fell apart a bit but I could live with it on this occasion. Bonus points on the chips because they were dynamite.”

Tuolumne Meadows Grill – Tioga Rd. (Rte. 120),
Yosemite National Park, California, USA

If you drive 5 hours east of San Francisco you’ll encounter some of the most breathtaking views on the planet. Yosemite National Park’s incredible vistas attract everyone from lollygagging tourists, avid hikers, animal lovers and artists. There are plenty of things to do and see in the park but chances are you’ll be driving through Tuoumne Meadows; a popular spot to set out for a range of hikes and trail-rides. Not far away from the visitors centre you’ll find a shack with a flyscreen door where hungry campers and hikers can get their fix for classic Americana. They do mostly sandwiches, burgers and hot dogs but you can always get a nice plate of bacon and eggs if you’re there before 11:30am. I ordered a Cheeseburger with extra bacon that came with an oat/flour topped bun with a beef pattie, lettuce, American cheese, onion, tomato and pickles.

“Regardless of all the veggies involved, the burger was actually so simple. For some odd reason it was a smidge cold and wet, but like most things in life, I’d blame the lettuce. I liked that they don’t add any sauce. It means you can make your burger how you want it. I felt like it didn’t really need it because you got a lot of sweetness from the fresh onion and pickle. It also helped to make the simple beef pattie the hero of burger. For once I’d probably say you don’t need the bacon. It didn’t really do much for the burger. If you were looking for something with more grunt, I’d double my pattie next time. Overall, it wasn’t anything amazing, but I really expected a lot less quality and for a higher price (without bacon it was $6). These guys could charge what they want but they know that a hungry hiker is probably going to order a few of these after a long trek.

Footscray could proudly boast to being the most diverse suburb in the world, with residents from 135 different countries now calling it home. Located only 5kms west of the CBD, this melting pot has had its problems in its past but really appears to have turned a new leaf, with a large assortment of Vietnamese, Indian, Chinese and African restaurants. It’s no surprise then that a computer game inspired diner, that’s open 7 days a week serving burgers, dogs, shakes and sides like Tater Tots has people lining up outside the door. We ordered the 8bit with Cheese, consisting of beef, tomato, lettuce, red onion, pickles, mustard, cheese and 8Bit sauce and then patiently stalked fellow diners finishing for their prized stool at the counter.

“Initial impression came from how visually appealing it was; sitting high and mighty in its custom made little box with plenty of colour popping out from the cheese, ketchup, mustard and lettuce. Then from first bite to last, it was full of great flavour, with equal amounts of bun, beef, cheese and sauce in each and every bite. The bun was super soft, which combined with the crunch from the lettuce to give some great texture, that served well with the perfectly seasoned and fresh beef patty and contrasting sauces. Would love to come back and try everything else on the menu.”

“The wait: was it worth it? Well, burgers covered in gooey American cheese didn’t help my hunger as I watched diner after diner get their burger before me. When it arrived it looked just as delicious as everybody elses. It reminded me of a mix between Fat Bob’s and Laurie Dees. The highlights were the cheese and pattie ( just the way it should be). The cheese and patty combined to form and unstoppable force making for a soft, salty, juicy and fatty bite. So good! And, such a bargain!”

If you’re unfamiliar with native New-Zealand-ish then “Chur” is just another made up word that you and your friends will argue about, end up on Google, then call your favourite NZ buddy to confirm. You see, Warren Turnbull, former fine dining chef, is a NZer and the only way he wanted to describe the mouth-watering burgers he was creating was “Chur!”. What us Aussie’smight call “Ripper”. After a fire in the original hole in the wall burger joint that was Chur Burger, he set up shop in Surry Hills in a larger space offering a larger selection of burgers, chips and “drank”. He has seen so much success for his burgers that there are now four Sydney locations and another opening up pretty soon in Brisbane. Collaborating with fellow countryman and designer, Scrap Wall, their Surry Hills location seats plenty, has a bit of a found/industrial art vibe to and is the kind of place you can spill a drink and noone will bat an eye. They do milkshakes, fries and a bunch of different burgers that cater for all walks of life. Cooked medium-rare, I went for the classic Beef Burger that came on a brioche bun with a beef patty, cheese, tomato jam, mustard mayo, pickle – simple.

“I’ll admit it. I’m one of those contrarians that hates hype. And, from the countless emails we’ve received, there was plenty of hype about Chur. I was in Sydney on a tight schedule and I knew I had to make my way round to see what all the fuss was about. Their brioche bun wasn’t overly sweet (which is a nice change) but I would’ve preferred something a little softer. As I bit in to the patty I noticed it was nice and fatty, but with bits of gristle in it I started to fall less in love with it. Having read that they served medium rare as a standard I was let down by the grey pattie that had been left on the grill a little too long. Halfway down something happened. The burger changed. This was the delicious pink I was looking for. It stepped up so quickly. Why was it so uneven though? If you’re a regular here you’ll know that I’m keen as mustard for mayonnaise in a burger, but this was overkill. I feel like Chur Burger started out as this delicious burger joint where tender love and care were put into making every single burger a work of art. Now with the popularity and expansion I imagine it’s harder to control the quality (as we’ve seen in other Melbourne burger joints). The framework of an stand-out burger is still there. It was just missing the key ingredient: love (single tear).”

As the gentrification of the inner northern suburbs of Melbourne rapidly expands, it was only a matter of time before people saw value and opportunity in Preston. Located only 9kms north of Melbourne with a large Macedonian and Asian population, 3 locals noticed a lack of a decent burger so decided to roll up their sleeves and fill a niche. With a sleek interior, consisting of plenty of concrete, bricks and dark green tiles, we grabbed a stool at one of the tables and considered our burger options. With everything sourced locally and all sauces and pickles made in house, it all sounded appealing but we settled on the burger named after their owner. ‘The Chew” came with a 190g Wagyu patty, cos lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard, aioli and cheddar cheese between a brioche bun.

“What a pleasant surprise to be served a burger on a white plate, as opposed to a plank of wood that’s so prevalent at the moment. The slightly larger than standard patty was absolutely ideal; cooked to a perfect medium, pink and juicy in the middle, but not dripping wet, managing to trap in all the flavour. The crisp bite from the lettuce, tomato and pickle complimented it well without distracting me and the creaminess of the cheese and aioli rounded out the great flavours. Surprisingly my favourite part was the bun, that appeared to just be a standard sesame seed bun, turned out to be a perfectly toasted brioche bun with plenty of substance to remain intact right until the end. On a side note, be prepared to yell, as this place filled up it got really loud with all the voices and noises bouncing off all the hard surfaces.”

“With limited seating available, but great customer service and very catchy tunes to shake your head to while you wait for your burger, this little Northern suburbs shop has shot to notoriety in less than three months since opening. The menu basically consists of just burgers and making a decision is hard (I recommend flipping a coin to decide). The patty was beautifully pink in the middle covered with melted cheddar cheese and complemented by my favourite combo of crunchy pickle and mustard. The bun was your typical sweet brioche bun with no surprises and chips were good too.”

“This was a very decent burger. It basically sets the standard of how burgers should be made. It was hard to fault really. Everything was balanced and there was plenty of sweetness and saltiness. The only thing I’d say is that there wasn’t any particular ownable factor to the burger. But maybe it didn’t need one. It is was a classic, done well. I really liked it. Shame it’s not closer to home.”

The Botanical, or simply ‘The Bot’ as it’s commonly referred to by the locals, is a Melbourne institution located opposite the Botanical Gardens. The Botanical truly is a multi-faceted venue offering a formal dining room, informal wine store and cafe, a less formal bar and lounge, a courtyard and options for private events. The rear bar has its own menu available 7 nights a week, ideally suited to match your drink of choice, with live music on Wednesday and Sunday nights. Being an almost perfect balmy summer night, we grabbed a seat in the olive-tree lined courtyard, grabbed a beer and ordered the Cheeseburger & French Fries with lettuce, tomato, pickle and tomato chutney.

“This is my absolute favourite quiet pocket of Melbourne. I was glad to visit here in normal clothes as opposed to walking past huffing, puffing and sweating after running the Tan. Anyway, the burger came out fairly quickly, neatly presented with a heavy mug of fries, and as you’d expect with the price, wasn’t very big, but everything was in proportion. The chutney on both sides of the bun added a sweetness to each bite, which blended well with the juicy patty and salty pickles. This burger is ideal to accompany an afternoon of drinking, and will just hit the spot without leaving you bloated.”

“The stand-out for me was the great value you get for $13, which is a perfect lunch option for those carnivores that don’t want to settle for a salad. This burger is compact with a fresh crusty bun that’s very easy to palm and holds a nice thick juicy pattie surrounded by melted cheese and a double layer of home made sauce. For those sweet and tangy flavours the tomato and pickle have done their job and the cos lettuce keeps everything fresh and honest. Overall it’s a very simple burger at minimum cost that includes a bowl of awesome shoestring fries.”

“I was a little underwhelmed when the burger arrived. It was on the small side and came out just a little too quickly. I didn’t think there’d be much to it. However, it was decent. The meat was juicy and sweet, but I wanted it to be meatier/beefier. Maybe it was just the fact that the lightly spiced tomato ketchup took over most of the flavours. The bun was actually my favourite thing about the burger: a crusty Kaiser almost. I liked this burger but I wasn’t in love. These guys could charge close to $20 for this and people would pay it. Props for not being greedy.”

When you read this next bit, try and say it in a posh accent – “Brighton darling”. Now you’re ready to mix it with the snooty Range Rover driving bayside dweller. But as of the start of 2014, there’s a chance the accent might get a tweak. With Royale Brothers setting up shop in the neighbourhood there’ll be more than one Average Joe popping by to get their meat fix. Brought to you by the folks that introduced Melbourne to the Portsea Polo and Sydney to Hugos, Royale Brothers is surely going to have the masses knocking on their door in no time. We placed our order from the tiny counter and waited for our flashing buzzer device to ring. Sitting on some limited seating outside, our burger of choice was their Royale with Cheese that came with a Milk Bun, Beef, cheese, onion, lettuce, pickles, mustard, mayo & Royale sauce.

“Simple things amuse simple minds, so the excitement and anticipation of the buzzer buzzing all over the table had me reminiscent of a young child awaiting Christmas morning. Once finally buzzed, it’s as if I had won a prize. Like all good presents, this one had grease leaking all over the wax paper, making it transparent and revealing a glorious mess of a burger. You couldn’t pull this thing apart if you tried. Everything was melted and bound together with each bite encompassing every vital flavour. From the salty, crumbly and charred patty, the gooey yellow cheese, combo of sauces and a slight and subtle crunch from the lettuce, pickle and onion. I absolutely loved it and couldn’t think of anyway of improving it.”

“You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? …Royale with Cheese”. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system I can give you my impression of the burger. Royale Brother’s burger is by no means a Quarter Pounder. In fact if they ever faced off the big corporate Quarter Pounder, it would get it’s ass handed to it by this very simple, fresh and affordable burger. The fresh bun held the delicious moist pattie well with no soggy structural issues to worry about. The mayo and cheese combined well and the pickle added some great tang, but not as crunchy as I would have liked. The chips were a bit average, however the burger is that good that it kind of makes up for it. Definitely going back!”

“This impressed me right away. The cheese took me back to my days of opening up happy meals after a victorious soccer game; stuck to the sides of the wax paper all gooey and awesome. The first bite was soft, sweet at times, but most importantly, creamy and beefy. The balance was pretty damn good here; across all flavours. They left things just greasy enough as to nod to tradition but then the fluffiness of the bun talked to my über fancy botox side. Anything I would do different next time? I’d probably add some bacon, or for the fun of it, add another pattie. This is one of Bayside’s best.”